


Kryptonite

by Caroaimezoe



Series: Duets [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Revenge Smut, Turtlecest, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-03-13 05:26:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13563819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroaimezoe/pseuds/Caroaimezoe
Summary: Leo pulls away when Mikey wants to get closer. Why is Leo his weakness? Creep from Mikey's point of view.





	1. Mr.Brigthside

**Author's Note:**

> Picture by NeatTea

 

 

Here it is. The best moment of Mikey's day; the stretching time before training. He took great care every time to put himself just behind Leonardo. Nobody was suspicious about it because Leo was the one they all sought to model themselves after. So, if anyone noticed that Mikey was just behind him, close enough to touch, or even to lick, when Leo was bending over to touch his toes, he could fake innocence. Even  _if_  Leo doing so was showing off his tail, his firm buttocks, and that so enticing spot in the middle, almost winking at him; Mikey could pretend not notice it. Even if, to everyone, it must be so evident that he was only there to stare. Just two second ago, Donnie had given him a weird look. Lust must be printed on his face. So what?

Leo's ass was the most alluring thing in the world, why it would be wrong to stare at it? It's wasn't even only his butt. The whole package was mind-blowing. Leo's body was perfect. His green complexion seemed sharper to Mikey and the leader’s stamina was so promising, especially when Mikey thought about sex. The eldest could probably stand many couplings back to back, taking all Mikey had to give. Also, Leo was so flexible; he would be able to bend into so many positions.

Yeah, the leader did have an iron fist in a velvet glove, but Mikey supposed that in a bedroom it could be another story. Leo being so in command, all the damn time, just needed a break. He could easily picture a submissive Leo, at night alone in his dark room. His hard voice would be so sweet and needy; he was sure about it. He was burning with curiosity to discover if this scenario was true.

There was no need to give more thinking about his body physical’s reaction.  There were in this shitty mating season, and Donnie had told him just last week, that his testosterone was already out of the chart, as expected.  The genius was taken blood sample many times a year and after some test had warned him: the season would hit him hard, like a brick wall, Donnie had said, handing him over some “relief toy.”

Mikey had just taken the lube; twice each morning, he was jerking off before confronting Leo on the tatami.It was the only thing he could do to prevent his dick from peeping out during training. Leo in the Dojo was just so hot that managing to hide his hard-on was an achievement. Each morning, he covered his hand in lube, and he squeezed his fist hard on his cock, pumping it, as if was Leo’s tight, untouched hole. He mostly pictured the leader riding him with eagerness, impaling himself on his cock. It was one of his favorite fantasies about Leo, this or the leader tied-up. Leo wearing ropes or chain, helpless and begging, must be so damn hot, and his hand was a blur on his length, imagining it. Cool people were always the more passionate lovers during sex, and he was sure it was Leo’s case. Leonardo’s insides must feel as soft as some warm satin and damn so good, constricting on his swollen flesh, and Mikey thinking about it, came each time, biting his lips not to cry aloud his brother’s name. Leo couldn’t learn that Mikey longed for him in this rude manner. Dulling his look and seemed nonchalant to not freaking him out was already hard to achieve. The hint he gave daily to Leo, about the fact that he wanted to be with him more than in a brotherly way, was so recurrent that the leader was used to it now, without understanding the meaning more than two years ago. He began to feel impatient: Mikey would die to see hunger like his in the blue-steel eyes instead to be looked at, as he was transparent.

Then, after tow climax in a row, Mikey was in control during breakfast. He was half ashamed to have jerked off on his oblivious brother, ten minutes ago, and the other half wanted to please him. Because if Leo could feel the same way than him, it would be so great. So, he always asked Leo what the wanted to eat, to drink, and served him, before himself. Mikey didn’t do it for their others sibling, but Leonardo never questioned it, apparently. This smug bastard must think it was a leader prerogative to be served like this.

This morning, Leo wasn’t hungry about anything specific, and Mikey had made French-toast to cheer him up. Leo was losing weight, eating less lately, and some sugar would do him some good. To his great disappointment, the eldest had eaten almost nothing, saying his stomach was unsettled. It could be true, Leo seemed troubled, but he was still drop-dead gorgeous. But what he could say? Maybe it was a pre-season thing. Don had explained to him that for each of them, it could be different.

And then, it was the moment he had so hoped for and feared at once: training time. Hoped for because it was the only moment he could touch Leo all over, without a puzzled or outraged glance and feared because he always worried that his thin control would escape him and his lust takes over.

In the last days, all the training time, his mind was buzzing non-stop with scattered images of the leader spread in front of him, stroking himself, begging Mikey to fuck him senseless. Mikey knew that it wasn’t maybe a exaggerate fantasies. The rest of the year, just imagined Leo making out with him was enough for him to get off. But this damn season was setting his nerves on edge, and his mentals scenario were more elaborate than this weird Caligula’s movie he saw one night. So, when Master Splinter asked them to brawl, he was focused only in pinning Leo down, pressing his shell on the mat and wasn’t aware of the others. So, he was the one pinned down sometimes, by Raph, and it was far less exhilarating to be seen so in a not advantaging posture by the one he wanted so badly to impress.

Yeah, he was in-depth.

Besides the sexual aspect on which it was jerking off for two years straight, he knew that his eldest brother could be a great partner. Leo was a caring and loyal person. He had everything someone could wish in a mate. It was a deduction he made two years ago when Leo almost die on them.  At this moment, he had known that it wasn’t only because he was a “fanboy” to quote Raph. All his young, Leo had been his model and his favorite brother, by his kind and caring nature. But somewhere, something had changed, and Leo has a deeper meaning for him and each day passing he was more certain about it. It wasn’t only a short-time crush. He loved him.

So since, he was bouncing around Leonardo, trying to attract some smiles and some praises from the leader, to be loved back. Leonardo was there for him, his soulmate and promised lover. There were not others alternatives to Mikey. Maybe, soon, Leo would notice him, too.  They were a perfect match. The only thing Leo couldn’t manage to do was cooking, and Mikey was a pro to it. He must remain patient and court him being caring and fun. It was what the leader needed: great care, love, some fun and a lot of physical pleasure. Leo eventually would feel the same urges than him. It was just damn long quite a bit, after two years waiting to Leo to open his gorgeous eyes.

But in the lasts days, his hormones were talking louder than his reason. Turtles didn’t do courtship. They just mate. He saw it on Discovery channel. The male just bites his partner to prevent them from struggling and copulated. But he can’t do that! Turtle in the wild didn’t have ninja partner, able to broke their arm. Leo would be pissed off to be taken against his will. Mikey must stick to his seduction mission and wait for the eldest’s green light. But, the season made his mind just clouded by lust, and his need was aching to his bones.

And each stretching session, he was there, drooling on the ass of the leader in an unsubtle way but couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Only stare. And what about the katas when Mikey was stalking on Leo? The raw passion and focus displayed by the leader doing so, drove Mikey horny as hell, his groin twinging painfully, trying not touching himself while he was spying on him and succeeded less about it, lately.

Nevertheless, it wasn't as if Leo was complaining about Mikey's obsession. The Fearless one was pretty oblivious to how seducing he was or that Mikey could be another thing that an obedient soldier or the cook. But he could be so more to him. He could see how Leo was stressed and how he needed a good dicking and a lot of love. When it would be done, each of them would be far more relaxed and could just begin a love relationship overdue. But Mikey didn’t know how to bring Leo to this point of view. He could just jerk off until then, remembering as Leo was hot stretching, like now. Each move making Mikey’s body temperature to rise higher and higher.

Nothing else could be done to wane his lust, and it has become at the point to become irritating lately, how Leo could be unaware.

 Mikey wasn't that bothered at the thought that Leo could catch him staring at his bent over' ass, now. He almost wished it, to get a reaction and move somewhere with it. Anyway, what was Leo's future outside their little family? Who could take better care of the leader than him? Ok, there still Donnie and Raph, but Don was busy, and Raph didn't seem interested in having Leo in his life as something else than a sparring partner.

Anyway, he was Mikey, the most balanced-gifted brother; he was fun, he was agile, he was fast, he was a great cook, and he already feels it: a great lover. He and Leo always get along the better. He was the Battle Nexus Champion. Leo couldn't refuse him as a mate. Could he?

He smells it now: the herbal perfume giving off by his eldest brother, just in front of him. It was so insane to have this body he craves for, so close and not being allowed to touch it. It was ludicrous; he would never hurt Leo. Mikey just wanted to make him feel good all over.

 Because lately, Leo seemed darker than usual. This morning, Leo had stayed far longer than usual in the shower, denying having masturbate as fiercely as if what wrong, doing so. If jerking off was a sin, Mikey was assured to have his seat reserved in the VIP section of the hell. Raph would probably have a seat next to him.

Did Leo never touch himself that way, far too prudish? If someone asked Mikey’s opinion about it, it would say it was foolish, but at the same time, so more exciting! Teach pleasure to the leader, made him cum for the first time must be thrilling. This idea was picking him all day. It wasn’t sure if it was normal and a reptile thing but the idea that Leo was a pure virgin, even with his hand, made him horny, but in an edgy way. He needed to take him and mark him as his before someone else taint his flesh. Maybe he was just stupidly paranoid and jealous. Or it was a kind of mating ritual. He didn’t dare ask Donnie about it.

Leo now was stretching his neck, exposing more his collarbone and a shiver went trough Mikey’s spine. He could bite him just there. Leo’s neck was gorgeous, long and noble. Mikey had never seen a collarbone deserving to be called alluring other than Leo’s. It would be even better with a huge purple hickey on it. Mikey licked his lips, breathing deep, trying to block his instinct, compelling his eyes to look away from the temptation. He must keep himself in check.

So, he succeeded in looking away from the neck to set his eyes on another target and his resolves to stay restrained almost crumbled.  Indeed, Mikey’s kryptonite was Leo’s tail. It was so fine and appealing, enlightening Leo’s perfect, firm buttocks. He could jump through ten inflamed hoops, surrounded by venomous snakes to grab Leo’s sexy tail, absolutely blinding by it when it was peeping out under his brother’s shell. Mikey had already bumped more than once in a wall, to busy staring at Leo's tail, flipped to the left or the right, the orange-clad turtle having followed its direction. The damn thing was driving him as a puppet.

He saw it now, so enticing, begging for attention, beckoning him to come closer. He could see Leo's puckered entrance, so thing, just under it, almost winking at him in a welcoming way. It would be hard to breach the leader, and Mikey would have to take great care to not make him suffer. It would fit into it perfectly after, and it would be so nice feeling Leo from the inside. Mikey was feeling the warm burbling in his belly as a warning. He must look up before losing it in the middle of the Dojo. Maybe the tail was less dangerous to stare at.

He fantasized from so long to nip this fine tail, daily,  eliciting some pleading sound from Leo. And then he could plow his tongue into him for a really good stretching session. The cute tail was only at ten inches from his face, and he could stop the waiting if he makes one bold move. Leo would be aware of his interest and must face it. Mikey knows the bulge on his lower plastron was more than apparent, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t bear waiting to Leo acknowledging his passion. He will nip Leo’s tail and lick his way down, until…

“ Michelangelo! What are you doing?” Leo asked in a clipped tone and, startled, Mikey replied something probably witty because Leo scolded.

“ Training will be hard. Not the time to goofing around.”

Mikey tried not to pout to the goofy remark. He didn’t mind hard training as Leo could think. Harder was Leo in training, harder was Mikey in his bed, imagining how delicious it should be to have the Fearless Leader underneath him. He would trust violently in him, biting him hard at all the place he could reach, shoving his cock roughly and ramming his tongue into Leo’s mouth. The leader was far too often in control. Seeing him crack under his ministrations would be amazing.

Leo has just to give him one hour, and the Fearless one will never call him a goofy anymore. No, Leo would give him tender pet name, in this needy voice that Mikey keeps hearing in his secrets fantasies.  

Master Splinter entered, broking the spell, and commanded 15 minutes of race laps. Mikey was keeping his pace, just behind his blue-clad brother, staring at the tail, fascinated at it like a month to a flam. So, when Leo stumbled, while running, Mikey did it too.

Master Splinter asked Leo if he was in pain. Not a word to him, because Mikey could stump and nobody would notice, but Leo outside the kitchen was absolute perfection, so he agrees it was troubling.

Leo didn’t answer right away, and now, deeply concerned, their Sensei reiterated his question.

"Leonardo, my son? I talked to you!"

Leo started, hastened to answer;

"I'm sorry, Sensei."

The rat made a sigh and stated:

" You will spar with Michelangelo."

At that, Mikey was beaming. He didn’t have the opportunity to spar with Leo so often. It must be good timing to impress him with his new skills. To burn some of his energy and all his accumulated tension, even more in the last week, he had trained a lot. He has even gained some new muscles in the last month. He had also invented a new dead-move with his nunchuks. Leo was crazy about training, he couldn’t notice it.

The firsts moments, everything was fine, and Mikey was too happy to have the icy blue stare on him, but he noticed the blank look of his opponent. Leo was dodging, but something seemed off about him. Leo was given the impression to not be even there, lost in his own world and Mikey tried to be more impressive to have the steel look on him, for real. But, by accident, he strikes Leo’s face, while staring at the sweat in the hollow of his brother’s neck.

The lips he was longing for were bleeding now, burst, by his fault.

"Oh, shell! I'm so sorry, Leo! " Mikey exclaimed. " I was sure you would see that coming!"

Leonardo touched his lips, kind of indifferent about it when Mikey continued to apologize profusely.

"But you're kind of daydreaming since the last two months, dude! You're not yourself..." he tried to explain to show that he cares deeply for him.

Leo stopped wiping his lips, his blue eyes wides a moment and then, his face turned cold, and with his authoritative voice, he interrupted Michelangelo.

"Don't be silly, Mikey! I have been hit. That could happen, and that means you're improving. So, I'm proud of you."

Mikey knew enough his brother to know when Leo was hiding the truth. The eldest wasn’t lying, Leo was far too honorable for that, but there was something fishy there, and he didn’t like a bit Leo’s icy expression. Damn, it was an accident. He would never hurt Leo on purpose! He loved him too much for that. He knows that Leo was indeed proud, but only of his own reputation, not about Mikey’s so-called improvement. The leader was hiding something from Mikey, not trusting him enough to open up to him, and this almost lies hurt him:

"Please, tell me you don't think I'm enough a dummy to believe this kind of bullsh..."

"Michelangelo, leave your brother alone and watch your mouth!" Splinter said.

Of course, Sensei would take Leo’s side. Leo could be moody as fuck and less eating, and being lonely, Mikey was the misbehaved. Mikey was about to talk back when Donnie, calmly, raised his hand, waiting to add his two-cents.

Donatello was a genius, not blinded by favoritism. Mikey had asked Donatello was going on with Leo. Donnie has pretended not knowing what Mikey was talking about, but Mikey wasn’t that dumb. Donnie just wanted to make him talk. He must already have figured out Mikey’s secret and wanted to be sure. But maybe Donnie was genuinely concerned and being a clever turtle, he would discover the truth about Leo’s state of mind and will help him. Of course, Mikey would have preferred to be the one helping Leo, but he wasn’t enough a selfish bastard to let his petty jealousy across the path of Leo’s well-being.

" As the doctor of this family, I suggest that we slack the training a bit. We won't be patrolling that much the next two weeks, and Leo seems exhausted."

"I'm not! I'm not weak! I'm perfectly fine!" Leo snapped so fiercely that Mikey startled. Since when Leo was emotional at the point of losing control in front of their Sensei? Raph was grinning as a dumbass as if a Leo so edgy was kind of funny: " Anger is my department, bro. Didn't know you have such a short temper in ya, Fearless!"

Mikey was agreed. Leo wasn’t reacting as he does. Something must bother Leo A LOT. He knew it!

"It isn't the Leo we know. Something is off..." Mikey protested but not so loud, not wanting to bring back Leo's fury toward him but wanting to show to Donatello that it was an example of what he was talking about some days ago. Leo wasn’t fine.

"Stop talking about me as if I wasn't there!” Leo yelled, his blue eyes blazing on Mikey as he wanted to burn him to the ground and Mikey just wanted to curl up in a dark corner and cry. Why was Leo so harsh on him? He was only concerned! But Leonardo suddenly seemed to remember his Sensei’s presence and took some of his self-control back.

 “Sensei, please. let's continue. I will pay more attention. Promises" Leo insisted with a huge grin, so honeyed, so faked that Mikey worries were now more out of chart than his hormones. Something was awfully wrong with his beloved brother if Leonardo was trying to trick even Master Splinter. The leader was always pure honestly, even more to their father. He hoped that their Sensei won’t be fooled by Leo’s act-up.

Master Splinter looked deep in thought, and then, his decision fell, to Mikey’s relief.

"Perhaps, your brother Donatello is right. We will take a day off. Go rest my son and put some ice on your wound."

Mike could tell Leo was mad. A kind of mad much worse than even Raph when there wasn’t any bacon left. But as the obedient son, he just bowed to Master Splinter and stormed out in a Raph-like way. It was so unusual that each of them looked to Donatello, seeking an answer from the resident genius. Don shrugged:

“ End of spring, perhaps.”

Mikey followed, not too closely, not wanting to annoy Leo further, but he entered the bathroom where his eldest brother was. Maybe Donnie was right. Leo's testosterone levels fueled his aggressiveness, more than his horniness, just like Mikey. It was a shame: anger was sterile and brought no pleasure. He came close to his brother, cautious as Leo was a wild animal. The leader was showering, and he put his hand on the eldest’s shoulder, trying to not be overwhelmed by desire. Leo needed an understanding friend and a brother for now, not yet a passionate lover.

"Leo, I'm sorry...I know these spring's things suck..."

As he had been burned, Leo turned to look at his brother:

"It has nothing to do with it! I didn't have any issues with whatever month we are..." he stated, with an icy glance.

Mikey's heart sank. Never he has imagined than Leo, his brother, his leader, his secret crush and desired mate, could look at him this hurtful way. Leo must have seen the pain on his face because his feature melted in a remorseful smile.

"Mikey, I assure. that is nothing to do with it..."

"So, you admit it? There something bothering you? Nobody could fool the Nexus Champion!" Mikey declared proudly, his hand on his waist in a superman posture, searching a way to coax his brother to confide in him and so acted as the goofy Leo thought he was.

Leo sighed

"I only need a cold shower, I assure you, " he replied, turning his attention to the soap, instead of Mikey. Leo was rubbing the soap so harshly on his delicate skin to the point of pain, without noticing it, that Mikey used all his self-restraint to not take away the soap and kiss the sore flesh.

Raphael shouted that if they wanted to talk, then they do it outside because he had a "hot date" and Mikey hid rather poorly his exasperation. He wanted some alone time with Leo, to make him open to him, in all the possible way. Raph has just spoiled the opportunity.

All the shower, he looked aside, toward Leo showering next to him. The jade-colored skin was divine with the water dripped on it. Mikey wanted to lick it, imagining the possible taste of it. If Leo wasn’t worshipping his body, Mikey will. But the special moment he didn’t want to miss when were Leo was releasing his cock out. He has never could see it perfectly, Leo being too prudish to Mikey’s liking. It seemed a hair longer, but slender than his. Just mean to fit in Mikey’s hand. His dick grew erect, and if Leo just turned his head a bit, he could see his raging hard-on, but the leader was obstinately looking at the tiles in front of him.

He didn’t know if Leo was aware of his stare, but the leader cut short his shower. Anyway, it wasn’t that bad. Raph paid not mind to jerk off with his others brothers present, but Mikey couldn't achieve it with Leo at reach.

Donnie has followed Leo, and Mikey know what that means: The leader, willing or not, will have a medical appointment with Dr. Donnie. He was relieved. Donnie won’t fell for Leo’s denies that’s everything was fine because, you know, he mediates, train and has a healthy diet. Don would extract the truth of Leo, nagging him until the leader cracks under pressure, being asked the same question, in fifty different ways. When it was about medical stuff, Don was more enraged than a bulldog on a bone, and he won’t drop the case without having received an acceptable answer to his concerns.

Now that there was only Raph there, and that he knew that Leo was in good hands, he could afford a stress-relief. He lost himself in memory of Leo bending, stretching, sweating, and washing, his wrist on overdrive.

“ So, comfier now that your big crush is just out.”

Mikey denied nothing and didn’t ask how Raph, not the sharpest pencil in the box, has figured it out and didn’t pretend it was maybe Donatello, instead than Leo. He grunted only a “shut up,” and Raph has a low laugh.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell. I have had a Fearless phase too, but Leo is so oblivious that I got tired of it, kinda.”

The confession even made in an indifferent voice, was enough for Mikey to lose his erection. The orange-clad turtle was now worried. Leo was enough a hard target like this. He didn’t need Raph’s competition as a cherry on the top. Fiercely, he turned toward Raph, growling.

“ Just don’t…” he warned in a manner very uncharacteristic of his friendly nature.

Raph raised his hand in surrender, with a mocking grin.

“ Hey! I just told ya. I got jaded to wait. If ya want him, it’s fair game. I don’t see him that way anymore, and I won’t stab my bro like that knowing that ya have the hots for him.”

Mikey’s aggressiveness lowered hearing that.

“ I want and love him for so long now, thank, bro. But, how do you know?” he asked rather softly.

Raph made a smirk and wrapped a red towel around his loins.

“Kinda obvious. Since Fearless almost dies, you always there, playing the attention whore, mostly when he is there. And how to not mention all the glance you gave him.” he mocked, and Mikey blushed slightly.” Doing the math is easy, bro and ya couldn’t do more without having a neon arrow above you flashing “Want to see my big nunchuck, Leo?” I think ya guys would be kind of cute together. Well, now that’s is settled, I leave ya, to take care of your problem.”

At the second that Raph was gone, Mikey returned to his handiwork. Raph was aware of his feeling and wasn’t  freaked out about it. He even encourages Mikey to pursue Leo. Donnie must be aware too and not have to hide that much his feeling would be nice.

He imagined Leo, coming back to the shower and what he could do to him. The climax followed quickly, and after washing once last time, a more relaxed Mikey went to his room. He typed a playlist randomly and was listening to the music, almost in peace. Three orgasms since his waking-up, four hours ago was enough to soothe him for a while.

_I really don't mind what happens now and then_

_As long as you'll be my friend at the end_

_If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?_

_If I'm alive and well, will you be there a-holding my hand?_

_I'll keep you by my side_

_With my superhuman might_

_Kryptonite_

_You called me strong; you called me weak,_

_But still your secrets I will keep_

_You took for granted all the times_

_I never let you down_

_You stumbled in and bumped your head,_

_If not for me then you'd be dead_

_I picked you up and put you back on solid ground._

“ So depressing lyrics. Must put on some cheerful thing. Leo didn’t need to hear that” he muttered, playing on his T-Pod, laying on his bed. There was a knock on the door, and Mikey yelled a “ Come in.”

It was Leo, and even if it was indeed a good surprise, Mikey was now not too fogged by lust to imagine that Leo has come to offer himself. Probably more chance that it was about patrolling or cleaning his room, so no need to be excited, yet.

“What’s up, bro? » he asked nonchalantly.

Leonardo smiled kindly at him.

"Oh, I wanted you to add a song to my T-pod. "

Mikey sat up, smiling. It was an easy way to please his loved one.

"Really, which one? "

Leonardo didn’t remember the title of it, so he hummed the song and sang the lyric that he remembered to his brother. Mikey was mesmerized. Leo’s features were soft, and his steel eyes were shining peculiarly, while he was singing this sad song with his magnificent voice, and Mikey was stirred in front of the rare display of sweet passion of his brother. But, the song was short, and Leo stopped singing.

Mikey cleared his throat, to spoke casually.

“I know from the beginning which song you were talking about, dude. But you have a such a beautiful crooner voice, Leo, I wanted to enjoy it until the end. Even if I rather prefer you sing a more cheerful one.”

Leo smiled, and Mikey smiled, back, now enthusiastic. “Give me your T-phone; I would do it. You can stay here meanwhile; maybe we could discover others songs you like.” Mikey suggested eagerly. It’s has been a while since they have some alone time together. Maybe he could make some heavier-implied hint and maybe just brush Leo’s tempting flesh.

“Leo, bro, do you want to listen to another song?” Mikey asked softly, taking Leo’s hand in his and squeezing it lightly. His hand was cold, but Mikey was willing to warm his brother up.

Leo shook his head, getting up hurriedly,

 "Later, Mikey. I need to practice. See you at dinner. "

“Do you mean lunch?" Mikey asked surprised and disappointed. “It's only eleven o'clock." Leo could think to train seven hours, just after morning practice? Could he be that a training addict doing so?

Without turning around, Leo said, "I have to train a lot." and left, leaving Mikey, so upset.

Mikey tried to deal with this new disappointment. He should be used to it now, Leo being more lonely, each day passing. But he knew better than insisting. Leo hated being forced, questioned and cornered. It would make more than damage than giving Mikey good points.

So, he tried to fill his mind and have his hands buzzy, by masturbating, playing Nintendo and cooking.  He had a talk with Donnie. Donatello wasn't willing to give him detail about Leo’s condition, hiding behind the professional secret he must keep. Mikey has sneered that he has never seen Don’s damn degree, neither his accreditation of the professional order of the sewers physicians so that he should spill the beans already. Don has talked about Leo having some reserves about giving himself pleasure and that Leo was torn between his envy and his moral code. Knowing that Leo was troubled by carnal desires was the best news of the day, and Mikey thought that maybe the leader would be more receptive.

Later, after dinner, as promised Leo was there, sitting next to him, watching a movie. There was a blanket on them and Mikey, since the last one hour, was debating with himself if the timing was good to make a move. He was now buzzing with the same sexual energy than at the Dojo earlier, intoxicated by Leo’s smell in his nose. Maybe just patting Leo’s thigh, lightly, would be okay, not a too bold move, but an undeniable physical contact, not brotherly.

Suddenly, before he could reach Leo’s under the blanket, Mikey felt a buzz and felt Leo tensed as well. Who can call Leo at this time? All their family member were there, in the room.

The leader raised up very slowly. "Oh! I forgot. I had set the alarm for my training...I must go..."

"Are you serious? You have trained all day!" Mikey whined. Leo wanted to leave just at the moment Mikey has made his mind to dare touch him more intimately!

"Michelangelo, there are things more important than television! You should maybe train more, too." Leo replied, sternly.

Mikey hated when Leo acted as a parental figure like at this exact moment. But then, he had an idea:

"You know what, bro? You're right. I'm going to train with you!" he said eagerly, jumping out of the couch. They will be alone in the Dojo, and maybe he could make his move, anyway.

He saw Leo’s hesitation but didn’t have the time to question it.

Leo’s T-Phone vibrate again, and Leo pulled out slowly out of his belt and took a look at the screen, and his expression was changing again. Mikey had the time to catch a glimpse of true excitement, and he was bewildered.

"Finally, maybe I should sleep instead. We'll train tomorrow together, Mikey."

It was a slap. A part of Mikey know it wasn’t biggie, but another part of him was sick from all the “ later, then” from Leo. He was waiting for years, and now the craving was just too strong.  And another part of his was worried; something was off with Leo. Leo had seen something exciting on his phone and, went straight to his bedroom, but according to Donatello, Leo doesn’t jerk off. So, why Leo was so eager to recluse in his bedroom, so early, in a middle of a movie, just after pretexted wanting to train? He stared at the shell of his brother, leaving. If Donnie could have the bottom of the story, he would.


	2. I took a pill on Ibiza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Mikey's point of view from chapter 2 and the half of chapter 3 from Creep.  
> Picture by NeatTea.

 

 

Mikey had sneaked into Don’s lab to snitch some weird wake-up pills. Leo was a sneaky son of a bitch! He can’t afford a simple blink. If he wants to watch Leo, he must be completely awake.  Giving as excuses to go get a snack, he left his remaining brother in front of the tv. He knew where the genius hides this stuff. Donnie made it, to stay awake when a project was urgent enough that sleeping was a waste of time. Mikey didn’t have the slightest idea about what was this stuff, neither the dosage and so he took only one, swallowed it dry and go back in the living room, faking watching the end of the shitty action movie chosen by Raph.

It was almost 11:00 pm when his brother went to bed, and he faked going with them. Something in him was twitching, and his instincts were screaming at him that Leo was up to something. He went back to the living room, hiding in the dark, behind the couch, his ocean blue eyes staring at the hall. He didn’t know what kind of shit Don’s pill were made of but, he felt jacked-up on adrenaline.

All Mikey’s sense were on overdrive, while he was waiting and then, he heard the step of his brother, to stealthy to be another of his siblings.

One moment, Mikey kind of hoped that Leo only wanted to pee. It was indeed possible, Leo having been all the evening in this bedroom. But, soon his hope vanished when he heard the step going down the stair and so, taking the exit direction and Mikey was shocked.

Leo, the fucking leader, was going out of the lair in the middle of the night, leaving his brothers unaware of it? What the heck?

On tiptoe, from a distance, Mikey followed. Maybe Leo was pissing off about all the missed patrols and wanted to play vigilante? But, Leo didn’t have chastised Raph for doing the Nightwatcher? Could Leo do the same thing? Maybe he felt only restless because of this end of spring thing and just wanted to do a midnight jog, across the tunnel’s sewers. It wasn't impossible for Leo. The guy has a real training addiction, feeling as he was slacking if he hadn’t burned 1000 calories in the last hour. Leo must have one of his Ultimate Ninja training kick, that’s it.

Alas, Leo, after having walked in long strides, arrived at the end of the tunnel they used to go at the warehouse. He climbed the manhole ladder and Mikey must face the truth as shocking it was. Leo wasn’t up to a quick jog. His big brother has just sneaked out from the lair. But where Leo could go, alone, at the surface?

Mikey tried to shadow Leo, who was running damn fast, jumping with enthusiasm between the roofs, not as cautious and silent as usual.  Worry replaced the indignation because Leo seemed so careless all of sudden, but then, something a lot more ugly was creeping into Mikey’s mind.  
  
Jealousy.  
  
Because to be so much less discreet than usual and to run so fast... Leo seemed far too eager to only play vigilante, and midnight was the time for a secret lover’s rendezvous.

The rage bubbled in him at a frightening speed, and he fought with the urge to run faster, grab Leo, pin him down and have his way with him, already. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes one moment, and managed to calm down.There wasn’t possible, his brother was far too careful to trust stranger and so, Leo must have a good reason for going out. Maybe he just wanted to stare at the sky. Leo’s soul was so poetic and it was the reason why Mikey was going so slow with him. Maybe Leo just felt chocked in their reclusive home, like Mikey, sometimes. But, when Mikey opened his eyes, calmer, Leo was nowhere to be seen.

In a panic, he looked everywhere, running and jumping in all directions. If Leo were in troubles, he would be alone to deal with it if Mikey failed to find him. He cursed his jealousy and began to search for his brother, in a frenzy. Never he had run so fast and jumped so far. But, more two hours later, he must admit that Leo was invisible. He saw some punks and shabby criminals, but the leader wasn’t busy playing justice turtle, obviously.

So, where was he? What was he doing? And, mostly, with who?

It was 2:00 AM and Mikey was about to go insane! Leo must be up in 4 hours, to begin his daily routine of perfect leader and son, and so he should be back soon, but Mikey was determined to know the truth.Anyway, thanks to Donnie's pills, he wasn’t tired at all. He was feeling as energetic as KingKong, ready to climb the damn Empire State Building to find this jerk.

But he knew that if Leo sees him before he does, the son of a bitch would take another path, to avoid to be caught. He must stay hidden, in the shadow, as the damn ninja he was supposed to be. He will stay there until Leo came out, under the water tower, above the dark alley near the warehouse. He tried to calm down, his mind doing a circle, trying to find where could be Leo’s hideout and the reason he went there. He could think of nothing and was just about to lose it so bad!

But then, the wind bring Leo’s scent in his nose, and he knew that Leonardo was close. It was his sweet aroma of incense, spice, and musk. He saw him, running and then stopping on his track with a kind of dorky smile. Mikey loved the smile of his brother when Leo was gazing at him, but, not when Leo was staring into space, coming from an unknown place. No, Mikey didn’t like this smile a bit. How could Leo dare smile when he was mad with anxieties? His anger grew over his relief to see the leader safe.

“Where do you come from?”

Leo’s head turned in a sharp move toward him, and Michelangelo emerged from the shadow, swirling his nunchucks.

Mikey had didn’t mean to sound so harsh and aggressive, but he has just spent two hours worried sick when Leo has just come from a fun place, obviously, considering his smile.

Leo wasn’t used to be scolded, neither questioned, and the smile disappeared rather quickly from the leader’s face.  

“What do you do alone at this time outside from the lair? You should be sleeping at home!"

Mikey was incredulous. How could Leo have the nerves to lecture him about sneaking out? What a…For once, Mickey was determined not to be snagged by the Fearless Leader’s way of his brother. He would make his point across.

“So, you do!” Mikey hissed. “Where do you come from?” he asked again, each syllable harshly separated from the other.” I see you sneaking from the lair. I had followed you but lost you, at one moment. I know it’s not the first time. Tell me. Where you come from?”

Again, Mikey didn’t want to anger the leader, but he was far too upset to care about Leo’s leader prerogatives. And he didn’t know if it was the first time or not. It was pure made-up bullshit, but he was now afraid to see a link between Leo going-out, eager and coming back smiling and his brand new moody attitude at the lair. After having being caught, his brother won’t have the choice to spill the beans.

Mad, Leo snarled:

“You don’t have the authority to question me. I’m the leader. I’m allowed to do what I please. I’m cautious enough to take care of myself.”

Michelangelo remained silent. Being so defensive wasn’t Leo at all. But that was the fucking point of Mikey’s concern. Leo wasn’t himself lately, losing control more easily than Raph. Something was troubling Leo, and the youngest was determined to help his brother, even against his wills. Leo wanted to play this game? He could play dirty too.

“You’re right. I’m not allowed to question you…” Mikey began, and he saw relief in Leo’s face.

“But Master Splinter is.” he dropped with a malicious smile and Leo paled.

“You won’t dare…” he growled.

Mikey walked toward him, his nunchucks still swirling. He didn’t want Leo being mad at him. He just wanted to show his love and concern. If it were the other way around, Leo would do the same thing.

“Maybe not, if you talk to me. You’re not yourself lately, and we’re worried. I’m worried.” he kept insisting, coming closer. After all his anguish, he needed to touch Leonardo, to be sure his brother was safe. He needed physical contact, and the urges were too great to resist.

When Mikey was enough to close, he sniffed the leader, and the shock widened his teal eyes. He jerked off often enough to recognize pheromone and the faint bitter smell of semen.  He knew it! Like a dumbass, he has waited, trying to court and seduce and please and someone else had taken advantage of his slow consideration and patience. His Leo has been tainted and maybe was already in love with someone else! He couldn’t stand it! The pain of such a treason was unbearable after so much waiting.

“You’d sex” he shouted, so upset “With who?”

“No. I haven’t." Leo denied, calm." I talked with Donnie about something…and find a way to resolve issues. Intimate issues” he explained firmly.

Mikey stayed silent. Perhaps it was indeed true. Leo has been unable to masturbate at home for an unknown reason. Maybe Leo has been afraid to be noisy, walked on, or something. Or he has gone away looking for inspiration to jerk-off on. Maybe Leo has some unknown kink like Mikey have with the biting and the bondage. Yes, maybe it was just that. Mikey wasn’t quite sure, but it was a truth more easy to swallow than another possibility.

“Do you tell me the truth? Because, you know…If I can’t trust you, nothing had sense, anymore. You’re supposed to be a model to me, remember?” he asked, his heart pounding as crazy in his chest. He so needed this confirmation, because as he said, if not, nothing had meanings anymore. You can’t live after being so deceived by the guy you’re over the head in love with for years.

Leo nodded but didn't speak, and it was troubling. The leader seemed having felt his suspicion because he added in a sweet voice, as in Mikey’s erotic dreams.

“I will never lie to you, Mikey. You’re my precious little brother.”

Before Mikey could say anything, Leo was quick to continue;

“Donnie told me…you’ve fancy someone.”

Leo’s voice was as deep and soft as rich velvet, wrapping Mikey around Leo’s finger. Mikey’s heart almost stopped when he caught the meaning of Leo’s word, and a flush crept onto his cheeks. Leonardo knew! And maybe he was almost there. Leo would close the space between them and give his lips to Mikey for his first kiss. Mikey opened his mouth, licking his lips, suddenly dry, quivering already in anticipation of the delicious kiss to come. But Leo broke the spell.

“Please. Don’t give too of yourself in this. Donnie made a fool of himself with April and…I don’t want someone abuse your kindness.” Leo explained with seriousness. “If someone broke your heart, I would break his legs, and this kind of behavior is prohibited by the bushido, “he concluded with a smile, joking.

Mikey was too frozen by the disappointment to find a reply to this about how Leo would manage to break his own legs. The mind in turmoil, but silent, he followed the leader back home.

Mikey had remained silent, though his devastated face had to show how upset he was. Maybe it was because of the darkness, but Leo didn’t ask him any questions and, and told him goodnight, before disappearing in his room. So, Mikey went back to his bedroom, annihilated. He allowed his nerves to crack, now that he was alone, and he flooded his pillow with bitter tears. Leo wasn’t a liar, but the leader didn’t even give a clear explanation about where he went so no one could tell he had lied. Mikey wanted to believe Leo, so badly. But, the instinct of the orange-clad turtle was screaming in protest. Something was wrong. Nobody was so happy to just have cum by his own hand. Leonardo was sometimes weird, it was true. But this was beyond Mikey’s understanding,

The next day, he avoided Leonardo the best he could and the following day, too. He didn’t even think to report Leo to Master Splinter. All his chances with his beloved would be over there, and anyway, he wasn’t that childish. Mikey was to busy to scheme about his big seduction project. He loved Leo so much and was distraught at the idea that maybe his feelings wasn't given back. Maybe he had taken the wrong tactic. Leo seemed to take him for granted and perhaps being kind and sweet wasn’t the way to win Leo’s heart. So, Mikey had taken the resolution to play hard to get.

It was difficult, his craving most alienating than ever, but he was determined to resist. Leo would notice his indifference and would ask him some question about his new attitude. And soon, this damn end of spring will be over, leaving Mikey breath something else than testosterone. He would be able to remain patient and caring. To hold on until then, Mikey has still something; the laundry chore.

To play guinea pig with Dr. Donnie, Mikey has asked for swap chores, last month. Don has been surprised but hadn’t mind the switch.

Donnie has been initially picked for the laundry because the laundry room was next to the lab. Laundry wasn’t that long and Donatello was busy. Master Splinter had never asked Donnie’s opinion about it. The truth was that he hated this chores and Mikey knew it. They wear few clothes: only bandanas and padding. But there are the sheets too, and it was the reason that Mikey wanted to swap and Donatello was willing doing so.

Sheets were washed twice a week because three of them were a horny teenager, at least. For a weird reason, Donnie was disgusted touching body’s fluids outside of the lab and he was convinced that Raph’s clothes and sheets were full of dried sperm. And each time that he complained or asked Raph about that, the Hot Head only smiled. Don was just paranoid and OCD and Raph just had fun messing with the genius’ mind, but it was so a good opportunity to Mikey. Sniffing the sheet were Leo had slept, three night in a row and jerk off on it, the blue bandana in hand, was a huge stress-relief. Inhaling the faint sandalwood and musk aroma, characteristic of Leo’s scent was almost like the leader was here, if Mikey closed his eyes. It was much better with the odor, and he could picture in his mind, fucking Leo senseless on the washing machine. His climax was mind-blowing and in the laundry room, he could moan and groan and call’s Leo’s name, his sounds covered by the noise of the machine. Despite that, he kind of regretted to not being able to do so, in his bedroom was the risk to be walking on was lower and his bed, comfier. But there was no other possibilité to have Leo’s sheet.Mikey wasn’t ashamed to cum all over it, because duh, they will be washed right after.

Wednesday morning was the laundry day, but Mikey spill more tear than cum on Leo’s belongings. He was sick to live in the insecurity and the secret. But, he was sulking Leo since not 36 hours and his brother would never take him seriously if he yielded so soon in the game.

As a reward, to console himself to having to lose his laundry jerk-off opportunity, he snatched one of Leo’s blue bandana. He will use it later in his room, to let off some tension. Leo had ten blue bandanas, he won’t notice if one was missing. And besides, Mikey needed the sensual perfume more the twice a week, now. He couldn't wait laundry day. His longing was too great.

Wednesday afternoon, Mikey stayed in his bedroom with one of his Crognard comic books. He had glued a picture very advantageous of his brother in blue on one of the middle pages. If someone walked on him, he would seem to be reading. Ok, his hand as a blur on his length, with the blue material tied to it, was a big giveaway, but Mikey was the ruler of the Kingdom of “Notgivingafuck” about it. After having cum on his prize, he hides it under his pillow. There was still Leo’s scent on it and he will wait that it didn’t anymore before snatching another one, the next laundry day.  The idea that, maybe soon, Leo would only have jizzed-over’s bandanas and maybe, despite the washing, there would have still Mikey’s faint scent on it, pleased him a lot.

But, when Wednesday night, Leo had come offering to play with him at Mario Kart, with his most charming smile, Mikey's face had split with a big smile.

" Sure bro!"

And then, Mikey had a sweet moment. Leo's arm was so close to his that he constantly brushed Mikey bicep in a teasing way. Of course, Leo didn’t mean to be teasing, but it’s still warm Mikey’s blood. Leo was smiling and laughing and himself again, and Mikey was so happy. Maybe Leo was over his personal issues and now, was ready to take another step in his life. The step toward a shared bedroom with the youngest.

But when Leo had offered to prepared him an ice cream bowl, Mikey had frowned.

" But I already had dessert. Usually, you don't want I eat twice dessert during the weekdays. It's your rules," Mikey observed, rather suspicious.  Leo watched his diet as a hawk usually. Okay, since two months, Leo had cut some slack on him, but still, it was weird.

" Well, I saw you earlier, during your sparring match with Raphael. You gave him a hard time. You'd gain some muscles lately, and you had taken your training more seriously. So, you could have a treat." Leo declared with eagerness.

Mikey felt butterflies in his belly. Leo had cut slack on him because he had noticed that he was now fit. Not as bulky as Raph, but more muscular than the leader. Mikey had couldn’t help himself. It was maybe another mating ritual thing, but he had trained as crazy, not only to let off some steam but also by the instinct of dominance. To win over Leo, he must be bigger than the one he coveted. He was proud enough of his new body. He would never achieve to be as alluring as Leo, more lean and gracious, but it wasn’t his goal. Pleased to see that his beloved had watched him, he asked, flushed:

" Oh, you noticed that? I mean, my muscle?"

Leo had shrugged, squeezing his brother deltoid.:

" Of course, it's my job. So, do you want your treat?" he asked again, with the grin of a generous big brother, ready to reward a spoiled brat.

Leo’s job. Leonardo didn’t find an appeal in Mikey. Only an improvement, like an upgrade of the Battle Shell. To the leader, Mikey was only a member of his squad, not even the more useful. It was Leo’s responsibility that his brother was fit, to look better in a fight and to be more efficient.

" No, thank you." Mikey, replied, in cold tone, looking away.

Leo had left the living room, without another word, as if, having praising Mikey and play with him, his duty was done, and Mikey bit his lips hard not to scream in frustration.

Leo was again in the bathroom now. Recently he was there, in the Dojo or alone in his bedroom all the times.

Raph was now there, next to him watching some stupid wrestling tag-team championship or something.

“ Is Fearless busy somewhere?” Raph asked.

Mikey nodded, absentmindedly, staring at the TV, but not watching it.

“Good.”

Raph pulled out from the under of the couch a beer. As a secret birthday gift, Don had made a cooler in the lower part of the couch when Leo was training in South America. Raph could only drink two beers daily, and Leo was counting the ones in the fridge. But, when Leo was busy, Raph could take on from the hidden cooler. So Raphael kind of hoped that Leo won’t come out the time he can drink at least one from his secret place.

He choked on it when a muffled yell came from the bathroom.

"Raph!"

The Hot head mumbled a “shit!” before yelling back:

" What do ya want, Fearless? I'm watching the match."

"Need help scrubbing my carapace."

Raph rolled his eyes:

“This motherfucker has a fucking gift to piss me off without even being there. Must seeing through the walls or something…” he mumbled to Mikey before shooting his refusal.

"Damn it! I'm kind of busy here. These fuckers are about to lose! Ask Mikey or wait tomorrow, would ya?"

Raph made a grin to his youngest brother with a suggestive wink. Raphael was sure to help him, sending Mikey there with a naked  Leo, wanting help to wash. Yes, Mikey was still upset and mad, but it was sure something kinda exciting to do, he could maybe manage to brush Leo’s bridge with a finger. He had already tinkle Leo there when there were kids and Leo haad have a weird reaction to it when Mikey did it. The leader must be very sensitive there. Maybe an erogenous spot for him. Mikey was very willing to search and discover ALL these secret spots on Leo.

“ Ya see? It for bullshit like that then I’m not into Fearless anymore. He is kinda high maintenance ya know, and I don’t wanna fight with his bossy ass each night to see who is gonna top!” Raph joked.

Mikey didn’t make a reply to this. He would never fight with Leo about this. When they would be settled in a comfortable relationship, Mikey won’t mind leaving Leo top sometimes. That don’t make Mikey less male doing so. Leo won’t reproach him to top most of the time when Mikey was serving him all day long and Leo was bossing around all his brothers. It was indeed fair.

Yes, the idea was promising. He will be alone with Leo, allowed to be close and touch him all over. With an exhilarating quiver, he straightened up walking toward the bathroom and opened the door without knocking.

Leo was back to the door, sitting on the edge of the tank used as a tub to them. It was huge enough to the four of them could enter. But Leo was the only one into the bath, and so, they used only the bath, for their shell cares. The leader turned his head toward him and seemed a moment take aback.

“ Oh, Mikey? It’s very kind to you to help me out. I just want a quick scrubbing on my shell. I just reminded that it’s been a while and I feel the scutes of the ridge are ready to come off. And maybe just a quick polish you know? I think I saw a glimpse of it in the mirror and it’ seems dull…” Leo explained, slightly embarrassed.

Mikey came closer. Leo had lit on some candles and his green skin, wet, was shining in the warm light. He was so breathtaking, so beautiful and so...oblivious to it. Mikey cleared his throat, to sound casual.

“ It’s already glistening, bro, but I can give you a hand anyway,” he said, but his voice was still dripping with wanton.

Mikey laid his hands on his brother's shoulders, kneading them tenderly. "You're so tense, bro, this bath of yours was a good idea. Give me the scrub brush, I will take great care of you." He whispered in a husky voice, sitting behind his brother. Leo didn’t seem to notice the innuendo.

With slow and deep gestures, he accomplished his task. Then, he made the wax penetrate, making circles, putting an eroticism apparent in each motion. He was turning on himself doing so. Mikey’s hard-on was pressing painfully in his plastron and his slit was open, now and if Leo turned his head he will see it. But nothing seemed to be able to get Leo out of his reverie. So, he got bolder, brushing his lips near Leo’s ear, his finger up and down Leo’s arm, scratching lightly his plastron on Leo’s shell. The noise only made him almost drop down, his cock dripping with pre-cum. Leo's skin was so soft and he was so enticing in the candlelight. 

“ You smell good, Leo. And you look good, too,” he whispered in a huskier voice.

Leonardo didn’t answer right way, and Mikey hoped that his compliment had made its effect, but Leo, in a blank voice asked to him if Mikey has finished.

The orange-clad turtle fought the urge to turn Leo toward him and kiss him forcefully to make him get out of his trance and deals with reality.

“ Yeah. You’re shining now, as brand-new steel.” Mikey deadpanned.

This praise seemed to be heard by the leader, now smiling.

“ Well, thank you, Mikey. I feel better.”

Go figure that when Mikey was talking about katanas, Leo would be more receptive. Why was he in love with this jerk, already?

The answer came when Leo raised to wipe himself with his towel, bending in front of Mikey with this damn as sexy as hell tail, who was saying hello to Mikey in the most enticing way ever, almost vibrating to beckon him to come closer and nip at it.

He was still staring at it, the brush purposely on his lap when Leo was about to get out. The leader was beaming now, and Mikey wondered if Leo has a thing for the blades at this point? He kind of hoped that not in the bedroom. Mikey liked it rough, he was quite a sure about it, but not in a cruel way. He wasn’t twisted!

“ Thank again, Mikey. You’re the best!” Leo said, before getting out and when Mikey came back to his sense, he got out too, following his brother. Leonardo has been beaming and grateful and had also said that he felt better. Was it maybe the good timing? He had just given a hand to Leo, maybe he could ask something in return, like maybe a rubbing or…

Leo wasn’t in the living room. But Raph was still there and over his quotas of two beers, obviously.

“ Have you see Leo?”

“ Fearless has said he calls it a night. Seemed eager to sleep you know.”

Mikey frowned. Yesterday Leo seemed eager to sleep, too. Did his brother was thinking again to sneak out the lair to jerk off? But why when Mikey was there? So apparently willing to care of it for him? But maybe it wasn’t too late to make Leo change his mind. He went upstairs and knocked on the door.

“I’m sleeping,” Leo replied, without even opening the door.

“But, Leo…I need something…” Mikey begin, restraining himself to not answer: “Sleeping my ass!”

“Well, I’m sure you could wait until tomorrow morning Mikey. Good night.”

Through the door, Mikey felt the hint of keenness in his brother. He knew Leo for all his life and wasn’t fooled at all. Attacking from the front was pointless.

Displeased, and it was an understatement, he went back to the main floor and, for once, he was lucky. Donnie was there scolding at Raph.

“ I will unplug this if you’re not more cautious. If you have a hangover tomorrow morning, Leo would know that we helped you out fooling him. You know how he is in this case. He got really mad! And you, me and Mikey would be grounded like for at least a decade.”

It was indeed true. When Raph and Donnie had their smoking phase, each of them was covering the others. This trick had lasted a week, and when Leo had known it, he had been worse than furious, and Raph had even said he would have preferred to be discovered by Splinter and receive the kendo stick strike, that Leo's punishment and cold treatment for three months straight, after.

So when they were busy to talk about how Leo was a bossy asshole (Mikey was enough agreed with the asshole part) and a mother hen, Mikey sneak again in the lab, taking another wake-up pill.

Leo wasn’t sleeping and he won’t either. He had so better to do; watch his turf.

 


	3. Needing/getting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second-half of Chapter 3 from Creep, by Mikey.

This night, Leo didn’t sneak off. Thursday night and Friday night, neither. Mikey checked his brother presence in his bed, each night. Each night, he took this as an opportunity to stare at his brother sleeping. Well, he couldn’t really see Leo in his pitch-black room, but still, he heard him breathe and could smell his scent. Leo’s scent was so enticing. The temptation to touch was great, but he managed to resist it. If he were cautious, soon this room would be his, too. Would be theirs and he would inhale this scent from their pillow.

Mikey just needed to play the good cards. Already, he could tell now that he has been jealous of nothing at all. Leo was tucked in his bed and was sleeping innocently. So, hopefully, he didn’t throw a too big fit about this walk on the topside. An irrelevant jealousy tantrum could have been fatal to his future love relationship with the leader.

Mikey could have been relieved about that, but if Leo was peaceful in his sleep, the daytime was another story. Leo’s behavior wasn’t comforting as his sleep.

There was Saturday afternoon, and Leo has been moody for now three days straight. The leader wasn’t himself at the point to lose against Donnie and him, in the Dojo. Master Splinter couldn’t stand that his precious and gifted son was now clumsy as a Michelangelo and he pretexted the overtraining of Leonardo as the reason for his failure. Then, their Sensei had forbidden to Leo train more than the morning practice. Leo had been mad, Mikey could tell, and he was now, gloomy, all stiff on the couch,

It was indeed true. The tiresome routine of the Fearless Leader was insane.  The three-last morning, the leader had wake-up, 45 minutes earlier, to made race laps, before doing his usual morning training. When Mikey was cooking breakfast, Leo had already more trained than the youngest would be during all his day.

And, in the afternoon, Leo had substituted his one hour of Space Heroes by one hour of kickboxing. This was strange because it was another Raph’s thing. Punch a dummy wasn’t the Fearless’s leader way. Also, Space Hero was the last guilty pleasure of the leader. Why abandon it? His day seemed already dull enough like that. Anyway, Master Splinter has decreed that Leonardo couldn’t add kickboxing to his schedule and Mikey had wondered is the real reason wasn’t that it was too Westerner to the Sensei's liking. Maybe he won’t had been so severe if Leo had practiced Muy-Thai.

Donatello had asked Leonardo what was all about and Leo had replied with a pout that he wasn’t in enough good shape and that Master Splinter wasn’t helping him, prevent him from training to be fit.

When Donnie had told to Raph and Mikey, the Saturday afternoon,  both of them had frowned.

“What is it fucking means? Fearless didn’t have an ounce of fat on him. He had the stamina an a decathlon athlete! He had a flawless body! He had the health, too! What this motherfucker wants more than that?” the hot head yelled.

Raphael was clearly upset and what showing it by anger. Mikey couldn’t blame him. Leo’s late behavior was disturbing.

“I think that Leo has self-esteem issues,” Donnie explained softly.” He didn’t think that he is worthy or attractive., so…”

Mikey spilled his milk, choking. Leo, unattractive? How could he think that looking the way he was? How many time, he had risked his life, staring at Leo’s ass and tail, while jumping from roofs to roofs? Mikey just wanted to show Leo how the elder was affecting him. Maybe he should do that. Tell Leo the truth. Maybe it was what Leo needed to be happy. He could relate. His loneliness was crushing his soul. Okay, Mikey wasn’t alone at all, with Raph and Don, always there, with Master Splinter. But it wasn’t the kind of relationship Mikey wanted. He needed a mate, a lover. Someone he could talk to, about a silly thing like his last dream, or could go on dates. Someone, he could please in a peculiar way, making special meals and giving surprise present. Someone he can touch and give affection in the way he feels it. A center in his life, a purpose. And he wanted to be as important for someone else.

“And I think he suffers from mild depression, perhaps.” Donatello continued.

Maybe Leo was desperate, looking for the same thing than Mikey and he didn’t have yet think about finding it among his sibling.

Raph was still protesting that Fearless needed to be talked at. Mikey knew what that means. Raph wanted to reason Leo with his fists. He shook his head.

“I will. “

Donnie nodded his approbation. Mikey was more likely to have a good result. Leo was a fly to catch with honey.

“Tonight, we can’t patrol because of a rainstorm. We can maybe use this moment to watch a movie together. We must find one that Leo could enjoy, and maybe after, if he is relaxed enough, you could talk to him, Mikey.”

Raph had mumbled that he disliked being not straightforward, but Donnie had shushed him.

“You ’re a brute. Go read next to Leo, but don’t push him.  Maybe Leo would feel for a chat or maybe not. Anyway, I will talk to him about the patrol and suggest the movie night. Mikey stays there. Leo must not feel surrounded. ”

Mikey stayed in the kitchen, nervous as Donatello told him so. His beloved brother was depressed, with self-loathe issues and he was tormented.  The idea that his brother wasn’t happy was hurtful. He hoped that what he could offer will be enough to change that. Before affronting Leo, he must be prepared. It was important. He didn’t want to spoil his opportunity. He could afford to fuck-it up. It was his only shot, and it must be bullseyes one.

He listened to the conversation in the living room. Don’s voice was raising.

" Leo! Calm down; it's only me! You're jumpy, lately!" I just wanted to talk to you, about the patrol, tonight."

"The patrol, yes. What about patrol?" Leo asked, like confused.

" We must postpone it until tomorrow night. "

Donatello didn't have to explain the reason that Leo was yelling:

"No! We don't patrol the Sunday. It's the rule."

Donatello seemed flabbergasted by the reply.

" What are you talking about? There no "rules" as you said! We're not Christian people to be forced to rest on Sunday."

"I'm the leader, and I said not patrol the Sunday!" Leo snapped in such aggressive manner that this overreaction almost dragged Mikey out of the kitchen. Leo wasn’t fine. Donnie seemed to share his concern:

"Tell me, Leo. What is all about? You didn't even wait to hear my explanation. I have excellent reason to suggest you to doing so. Look."

Donnie took the remote to switch the channel, leaving it on the weather on.

" You see, tonight, they expect a rainstorm with low temperature," Donatello explained. " Only 49 degrees and moreover in a rainstorm, even the worst criminals won't show off this night. Did I have to remind you we're cold-blooded? Master Splinter forbade us to patrol now when the temperature is so cold since YOU come from it half-dead."

Leo argued back:

" First, Master Splinter forbade us to patrol lower than 42 degrees only, and..."

"Why are ya doing a big deal over this? Brainiac said we shouldn't. It's not like ya to argue about health stuff with the scientist." Raph asked, and Mikey was amazed to see that Raph had managed to stay calm. He was now probably worried, too.

Leo turned around to meet the suspicious green gaze.

"You don't want to, either? Fine! We don't go!" Leo yelled, so upset, as he was losing it. Before being interrogated again, he stormed off the living room.

Upset, Don and Raph came back in the kitchen.

“There definitely something up with old Fearless! “ Raph commented, distressed and Mikey understand how bad it was. “What you can do, Brainiac?

Donnie seemed as well concerned, taking a thoughtful expression.

“Leo is pretty stubborn. He never asks for help, and he would pretend is fine, if we ask him about it and close to us if we corner him. We must show that we are there for him and we love him, whatever he thinks. But we must leave him his space, too.”

Raoh looked at Mikey and make a wink and the youngest blushed. Yes, maybe it was the right, but still, it was nervous. Leo was so edgy that he wasn’t sure how the leader would react to his love confession.

” And then if it wasn’t enough, maybe pills and therapy….But Leo won’t allow it at first. He would feel it as a weakness statement. ” Don, continued a frown on his face, probably trying to find a way to make Leo surrender. “ But we must force him to consider it. I just need to figure how, before it becomes too late” he added, darkened.

Mikey was agreed with the genius. Even if Leo needed it, it would refuse the pill. Even when his arm has been almost torn off, he never wanted to take a painkiller. Someone must think that Mikey, crybaby, and Raph so aggressive were the worst patient ever for Donatello. But the truth was that none of them was that much a pain in the ass as Leo was.

When Leo had almost died, he had survived only because it was out of the time out of it. Conscious, the leader would have refused many cares and meds. Mikey squeezed his hands together, distraught. If Don was thinking so far than pills and therapy about Leo, knowing that it would bring a fight, it was because Leo was in deep. He must grow himself a pair and make a real move. Before it was too late…But what Donnie wanted to means with these cryptic words? Leo wasn't about to…

“ I’m almost sure he maybe…hurt himself, you know. People with self-esteem issues sometimes cut themselves or made the thing not healthy at all, like overtraining…and Leo always has his katana on him…Maybe we should…”

“ No, I’m sure he is not!” Mikey interfered. “ I never see a scar on him!” Mikey knew that if Leo’s sword were confiscated, it was the beginning of the end. Leo would make an epic fit. And, besides, it was true. He watched Leo all day long. He never had a wound on him, and he knows for a sure fact that Leo’s bedsheet was clean.  Don was overreacting.

He turned to his oven. The salmon was probably ready. Leo’s loved salmon. It was the only meat he eats, and Mikey wanted to please him.

At the same moment, Raph’s voice raised in a stupor.

" Okay, Fearless what is all about? Do you suffer some bipolar shit? Ten minutes ago, you were moody as fuck, and now, you're beaming!"

Michelangelo turned around from his oven Leo had such a blissful expression that he could relate that Raph was stunned. It was, indeed, pretty shocking that the guy they were talking about confiscating sharp object, three minutes ago, was now all smiling.

" You find an argument about why Sunday should be a holy day for us? Or do you find a way to convince Sensei to let us patrolling despite the storm?" Donatello asked, dubious.

Leo shrugged:

" Oh no! I just realize you were right, Donnie. We will patrol tomorrow. I’m sorry about me having overreacting" he said, in a detached tone, and with a honeyed smile. But Leo’s eyes were twitching, and all of the other brothers knew that the leader was hidden the truth from them.

Donnie shook his head.

“Leo, you must talk to us. What happens to you? I mean your kind of cranky these days and you seem lost in your own world. We worry a lot about you. “Donnie pressed in a soft and caring tone.

 “Yeah, I mean ya worst than me, and that’s something. If ya were a chick, I would say you PSM or something…Do ya have one of those phases who required to ya to go find some peace of mind in another country?” Raph asked.

Now Leo was riled up, and Mikey grunted his teeth. His brothers were such a pathetic psychologist. Leo can’t be taken by the front.

“I’m not PSM! How you could say that when we bear this bad temper of yours since near two decades?” Leo sneered at the Hot Head, and Mikey decided to step in the den.

“Leo only needs a good sleep, that’s it. He is tired and nervous. As well as we are”

“Your Leo didn’t need to be fussed over by a fanboy. He needs to face his problems, once and for all.” Raph snapped.

Leo didn’t answer and turned his attention toward the cook.

“Mikey, did you need help with the dinner?” Leo asked with a false nonchalant and Mikey decided to face his problem. He needed to talk to Leo, alone, now.

“Never you would touch my holy oven. Why don’t you go rest a bit? I would bring you the dinner.”

Leo seemed grateful for this suggestion. Smiling, he exited the kitchen under the suspicious looks of his brothers. Raph took him by the arm, to whisper in his ear, while Donnie was busy on his computer, probably trying to find a cure for Leo’s illness.

“Are you gonna make a move or what?”

“Yeah” he whispered too. “But I’m nervous as hell. Leo is a wild stallion lately, and I fear to be toss.”

“Just picture in your mind about how it would be so damn hot to ride his ass later. Better it’s the challenge, tastier is the reward. “Raph emphasized.

Mikey raised an eye ridge.

“I didn’t know you have so much wisdom in you, dude.”

Raph slapped his shoulder.

“You’re welcome, bro. Put him down his high horse. Maybe a good pounding it the only thing he needs.”

Mikey finished to made Leo’s plate, smiling. Perhaps, it was indeed the good moment.

He entered Leo’s room with the meal trail but frowned. Leo was laying down on his bed, like a starfish. It could have been great, but Mikey wasn’t sure what to think about Leo’s morose expression. And he couldn’t afford any misstep. He decided to be cautious and showing to Leo that their concern was legitimate.

 “Don’t be mad at them, they spoke this way because they care about you. I do too.” He spoke, in a soft voice.

Leo smiled

“I know, little bro, and thank to didn't tell…You know about me going out the night.”

Mikey was startled that Leo was bringing it up. His brother didn’t have sneaked out since the last time, and Mikey had almost forgotten about this fact, too busy to worrying and lusting since the morning.  Mikey didn’t know how to broach the subject. He must be direct, but not that much, too. He tried to sound serious when he blurted the first thing that came into his mind.

“I love you pretty much, Leo. You should know that. I won’t betray you except if you’re doing something endangering yourself.”

Leo reached out to take his little brother in a hug. He kissed his cheek in thanks and smiled: "I love you too Mikey, and I will never betray you either."

The nerve took Mikey. It wasn’t the direction he wanted to take. Leo was talking about brotherly love, and he didn’t know how to explain to the leader that Leo had mistaken his declaration. He was feeling so good in his arm, but still, it wasn’t the kind of cuddle he wanted. Being so close to Leo and yet, so far, was heartbreaking.

The leader pulled back to look at him:

“Why are you crying?” he asked, in a real concern and Mikey realized it was right. All the stress and the energy that his self-restraint had asked him affected him now too much. He was breaking down.

Mikey whipped his tears.

“I don’t know. I’m tired. I don’t sleep well either. I admit I wake up every night to see if you’re in your bed since I caught you.”

Maybe Leo would ask him why he was so concerned. Mikey hoped so. He wasn’t sure to be able to hold on and was afraid to put it so awkwardly that Leo would be freaked out.

Leo nuzzled his cheek in a tender gesture, and Mikey melted.

“Well, don’t bother doing so this night, Mikey. You heard Donnie. There a rainstorm expected. It already raining now. So, only people out of their mind would go out” he explained with a serious smile.

Mikey was now relieved. Leo seemed not so in a bad mood. He has been affectionate, and even if he didn’t have made his point across, he had told Leo that he loved him. It was a beginning.

But Leo needed some space, maybe, as Donnie had advised and then, Mikey left the leader alone.

Raph, when he went back to the kitchen throw him a questioning glance.

“Soon” Mikey mouthed.

But soon, his optimist receive a fatal blow. Leo didn’t want to watch the movie with them, while Mikey had already prepared a good place next to him, calling dibs for the softest blanket of the lair, to entice Leo to sit with him. Donnie had even chosen “The Last Samurai” movie to please the leader. But all of this was in vain.

Leo had a headache or was tired, or just felt for reading but, mostly, needed to be alone. The three of them had kept insisting until Donatello yielded.

“We are better not to upset him, insisting” and so, mad by disappointment, Mikey had dropped the case. Again. But Donnie was the genius. Probably that had a better judgment than him on Leo's mental health condition. 

Later, they hear Leo take a shower. It wasn’t usual to him at this time, but they try to pay no mind, Donnie had warned them to not cornered Leo. But it was easy to tell: Don was pretty worried. Mikey, with the vivid imagination of his, was picturing a kaleidoscope of images of Leo, sitting on the toilet, cutting his wrist and hiding the scar under his wristband. He had told Donnie that Leo wasn’t hurting himself, but the truth was that even if Mikey was stalking his eldest brother, he couldn’t have a close-up of a lot of places, like Leo’s wrist,

Raph looked as if was thinking the same thing, taking a swing of beer with a worried sigh,

But, after a moment, inaction drove Raph crazy.

“ I must go piss,” he said, and before something tried to stop him, he gets up and walked with great strides to the bathroom and barged on the door.

“Fearless, ya took your sweet time in there! I must go piss, now! Get out!”

Leo yelled him to wait a minute, but not very clearly.

“Damn it, Leo, you in there for almost one hour! You turned off the shower a while ago! What do you fucking do? Shave your ass?” Raph bellowed, but with a hint of anguish.

Then, Donnie get up to, in a hurry, commanding Mikey to stay in the living room, and now stiff, Mikey nodded. He knew perfectly why Donnie didn’t want that he followed them. Donnie wanted to spare Mikey’s feeling if there is blood. Even if he wasn’t a kid anymore, and wanted more than anything to be close to his beloved in this time of needs, he obeyed.

He heard Donnie speak in a worried tone; not beating around the bush, anymore, too anxious.

“Leo, are you hurting yourself?”

With relief, Mikey heard Leo’s stunned reply, after that he had opened the door.

“Are you crazy, Donnie? Why would I do such a foolish thing?”

Then, Donnie’s voice expressed disbelief:

“Leo? Are you rubbing yourself with April’s cream?”

It was too much, and curiosity and need took over, and  Michelangelo came over to see what this what about. The peppermint smell was impossible to ignore and Raph was now openly laughing, probably a side effect of all his anxieties

“Yes! He does! Do you doll up for a chick, Fearless?”

Leo flushed in anger, and something ugly flared in Mikey.

“My skin itches the night. That prevented me from sleeping.”

At this, Mikey's head snapped toward his genius brother. It is was possible?Donatello seemed thoughtful, so it was maybe true.

“If so, Leo, you should tell me. There is nothing to be ashamed about. I would make a better cream than this one for you.”

But Leo didn’t look very grateful for Donnie’s suggestion and, tear misted his gorgeous blue steel eyes.

“Please. I just need my space.” Leo said slowly, looking down.

Donatello pulled Raph toward him in a harsh gesture to prevent the hot head to insist, while Mikey was frozen while the leader passes him. Leo never cry.  He tried to take the leader by the arm, to prevent him to locked-up again in his room, but Donnie gave him a hard glare.

“Of course, Leo. We leave you,” and then, he pushed his others siblings toward the living room, not listening to Raph still protesting that he wanted to pee.

Mikey got to bed early, without sneaking in Don’s lab. Leo won’t go out with the storm. Mikey could sleep. But it was easier to say than actually sleep.

What Raph had said was just rolling in his mind non stop: “You doll up for a chick, Fearless?”

Mikey didn’t believe a bit Leo’s bullshit about his skin itching. Sometimes, he stayed almost one hour in the black room, watching Leonardo in his sleep. Never he had seen le leader scratching or even uncomfortable. Leo was sleeping as still as a dead. It was almost unnerving. But why then the leader would have to lie?

After a while, an idea strikes Mikey. If Leo had told the truth, maybe he won’t be reluctant to a little midnight’s rubbing. He could go take April’s oatmeal cream in the bathroom to relieve Leo.

Because Mikey was itchy, too and yes, he would surely appreciate rubbing some fluid over them. It would be so good, to stroke these enticing greens scales and he was done being coward.

Suddenly taken by a strong impulse, he got up to walk discreetly toward the bathroom and then, he grabs the cream. He decided to not plan and to be straightforward for once. Planning and waiting were Leo’s way, not his and all of this were slowly driving him insane.

The leader could kick his sorry ass if he wanted to, but Mikey was sick to hide his desire and feeling. Leo aware of them, they could move somewhere from there. Leo had almost cried in front of them, and he was very upset about this. Leo was a rock. He was sick to see his beloved brother so sad and always lonely. Leonardo needed some loving and, as Raph had said being pounded into, maybe.

Resolute, but silent, he opened the door of the eldest bedroom and crept toward the bed, not wanting to wake-up the leader too brutally. Shaking, he held out his hand to gently caress the sleeping tortoise, when suddenly his hand only met with emptiness. Heart pounding, he turned on the ceiling light: Leo wasn’t in his room.

Leo could not be in the bathroom. Mikey just came back from there. Is it possible that the leader was in the kitchen, maybe to have some water? He rushed to the kitchen, hoping that his brother would be there. But, Leo wasn’t there either, and after a quick turn of the other possibilities, he had to admit the evidence; Leo was out, topside again! But the leader knew that a storm was raging! Donnie had been worried about it all night, and Leo himself admitted that only someone out of his mind could come out in such weather! He cursed his naiveté. He should not have let down his guard! It had been foolish to believe Leo cured of his nocturnal excursions because he had not been out for a few days! But why, why did the leader feel the need to go to the surface? Don said it was for jerk off, but suddenly, Raph's words took  a more serious level:

_“You doll up for a chick, Fearless?”_

If Leo had a female lover, somewhere that he met while Mikey like a dumbass was waiting for him?

He tried to calm down again, telling himself that it wasn’t possible. Despite his urge to rush and chase down his brother in the city, he couldn’t. He didn’t give a damn about the rainstorm, but he didn’t have a clue about where Leo could be.

His heart pounding and his eyes misted with tears of rage, he decided to wait for his brother's return, on the couch.

Anxious, trying not to think too hard, he watched the time passing on his t-phone. Fives minutes were so long, and the wait was driving him crazy. He was past 3h:30, and despite his anguish, Mikey's eyes were closed when he heard his brother’s step.

Mikey waited until Leo was near enough to hear him without he had to raise his voice:

"Only people out of their mind, huh?" Michelangelo asked, turning on the light, his voice filled with anger but when he saw Leo, his fury fell. Leo was so miserable, eyes wide, drenched, his teeth chattering, as frozen on his track as a deer on the highway.

 "I got you a towel, I'll make you tea." The youngest brought the eldest into the kitchen, and Mikey wrapped Leo’s shell in a towel with care,. As the tea boiled, the silence was broken only by Leo's clicking teeth, Mikey spoke," You know, you don’t need to go out and spy on girls to jerk off. Yeah, Donnie told me about your " intimates issues," as you said. But, you know, you don't have to sneak out, there what you need here in the lair…I mean there is porn site for this, dude if you need the inspiration to beat off” Mikey clarified, slightly embarrassed. And then, he chastised himself. Tonight was supposed to be the night that he came out of the closet, as he can call it! Why was he so shy and nervous, all of sudden?

Leo flushed but didn’t answer but had a cute smile in front of his mug.

“Here's your tea, bro,” Mikey said, stirred by how fragile Leo looked right now. The leader reached out to drink the hot brewage and then Mikey spotted the inside of Leo’s wrist. His heart just dropped, as did his smile. Leo followed his glance and in a quick move, tried to hide his arm. Mikey prevented him from doing so, very afraid that maybe Donnie was right. Leo was harming himself.

 “What happens to your wrist?” Mikey asked, concerned, snatching Leo’s arm, in a hurry, and to kiss-goodbye, all Leo's suffering. 

There was a mark, indeed, but Mikey was enough an experimented ninja to see that he was rope mark and not made with a razor blade. Shocked, not understanding what that could possibly mean, he urged of questions the eldest.

What happened,” Mikey asked, upset. “did someone attack you?” It was very unlikely. Leo was too a great warrior to be caught like this. If Leo had been tied up, it must have been because the leader was willing to be.  In an instant, he pictured how hot Leo must look tied up. It wasn’t the first time that he had been haunted by this particular fantasy. Leo, as great a ninja he was, couldn’t bind himself.

Jealousy flared up in Mikey. He lowered his head to sniff Leo, and the realization hit him like a semi.

 “I can tell you've had sex. You're giving off too many pheromones. You…you're not jerking off while peeping in windows …I smell someone else. You met someone!” Mikey’s voice was rising, and Leo tried to shut him up with his hand.

“Shush Mikey! Let me explain.” the leader begged

But Mikey was far too upset. Leo had met someone. Leo had sex with an unknown rival, and his world was crumbling.

“Why are you doing this? Risking your life, meeting a stranger in the dark? Accepting being tied up? You know what, I swore I wouldn't tell on you about sneaking around, but if this wasn’t dangerous!”

Rage, resentment, and jealousy filled Mikey’s veins. A part of him knew it was cheap and childish to threaten to report Leo to Splinter, but he couldn't care less.  Leo had risked his life in the storm, disobeyed their Sensei, and agreed to submit. He must be IN LOVE! With SOMEONE ELSE! It was so painful that Mikey couldn’t hide it.

“Shut up Mikey! Mind your own love life and don’t meddle in mine!” Leo growled. The angry comment took the damn cake.

Wounded, as painfully as if he had been stabbed, trembling from head to foot with an aching rage, he spat harshly:

 “That's exactly what I’m doing right now. Minding my love life.”

He didn’t care how Leo would react, he was too hurt. But Mikey didn’t expect the stunned exclamation from Leo.

“You are the brother she keeps talking about!” he exclaimed.

 _She._ There it was. There was someone else. Leo had just confessed it.

Mikey turned his back, trying to at least save face, and walked in fast strides toward his bedroom to hide his sorrow.

“I don’t even want to know who she is!” he yelled, before slamming the door.


	4. Basket Case

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta. This chapter goes with Chapter 4 of Creep.

Mikey collapsed on his bed, tears running down his round cheeks, now that he was free to cry his pain: Leo had someone. Leo had a girl in his life and to act senselessly as he did, a girl that he loves..

A girl that Leo loves as Mikey loved Leo.

Loved, because he can’t love him anymore and let along harboring fantasies about his big brother.  There no hope left to have the original model soon.

Leo was taken.

He smashed his fist in despair and frustration in his pillow many times. He had kind of hoped that Leo would have followed him, knock on his bedroom door and ask about Mikey’s feeling. Then, chose him over the outsider girl, knowing that Mikey had the hots for him. But, Mikey wasn’t in a Disney movie, and so, nobody knocked at his door. Leo was so much disgusted by him, that the leader didn’t even bother to see if Mikey was alright after learning that the guy he loved for so long, was falling for a stranger. Or, Leo simply didn’t give a damn. 

And so, he crushed his pillow again under his angry fist.

The rest of the night was hellish but, when the morning came, Mikey wasn’t relieved at all. Exhausted after having cried all night long, he was now forced to interact with the one that had broken his heart. And he knows so well Leonardo. The leader won’t let live it down until he knows the bottom of the story.  He wasn’t feeling at all to bear an interrogatory by the Fearless Leader after such a night and a heartache. But he wasn’t a lucky human, free to get the fuck out and never come back. He was condemned to live with Leonardo all his life and witness Leo come back from his escapade, smelling sex and women perfume, with a dork smile.

Just the thought of it makes Mikey want to gag.

He heard the cupboard and then, the tap water running, and he knows that it was indeed Leo who was up. Just to make his life more a hell, he had to be so in love with the damn turtle that was the longest awaken. How convenient!

He was a moment tempted to fake a stomach ache to stay hidden in his room, but he knew that to have Donatello on his back, in addition to Leonardo, won’t be better. So, as well confront him as soon as possible, because anyway, there was no exit for him.

But if he was supposed to live with Leo, he could keep the interaction at the minimum, and so giving this time for real the silence treatment and ignore him. Then, he reminded the damn practice where he was supposed to spar with Leonardo.

He couldn’t be so close to the leader, weapon in hands. He could beat the shit out of him, or at least, trying to. But he could also clinch the beloved body and cry his soul out. Or either possible way, fucking him senseless on the Dojo floor. 

Mikey was a mess and it would be a disaster waiting to happen,

Before going out of his room, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. It was obvious that he had cried his heart out. His eyes, swollen and red was a big give away. He looked as dreadful as a zombie. He won’t be able to pretend that he was fine. But, anyway, Leo knew about him and his feelings and didn’t give a damn. Because, if he cared, he would have come to see Mikey and comfort him, at least. But no! The mighty leader was too in a rush to jerk off thinking again about his sweetheart!

He left his room, decided to face it, since he had no other options, and entered the kitchen, without a glance at Leonardo, obviously ignoring him. It wasn’t even to give him a lesson. It was for his own sake. Mikey would lose it if he looks at Leo and sees his damn poker

face again. He would curl up on the floor and cry, waiting for the death to have pity of his misery.

Because he knows that he was still so stupidly in love with him. And he hated himself for this weakness. 

Harshly, he opened the cabinet, searching for his cereal box. Choco boom now would do him some good. He knows that he acted like a child,  binge eating sweet when he was upset, but it was his only comfort because obviously, Leo didn’t seem about to give him a hug. 

Then, the voice, so enticing, spoke:

"Mikey, I need to talk to you."

Mikey winced. Not damn already! He wasn’t ready to deal with this shit so soon. Getting out of his bedroom has been a bad idea. Mikey acted as if he didn't hear him, opening now the fridge to take out the milk. Please, just drop it, Leonardo, he thinks. Just drop it or kiss me. 

Leo didn’t get the message.

" I get that you' re upset because you believe I put myself at risk. I assure you it's the case at all. I'm cautious." the leader explained in an even voice. 

Mikey was dumbfounded. Was Leo messing with him?Did he really think that was Mikey main concern? Of course, he was worried, but he knew Leo an efficient and sensible ninja. He thrust too much Leo’s capacity to be worrying to the point of being that upset over this.

"I'm sorry for the night you spend waiting for me. You've must be very worried, but I assure you, I handle the situation."

Mikey slammed the fridge door so hard that Leo grows angry. How Leo, after what Mikey had said, could so misunderstand the situation? Leo, obviously, was willingly blind. Did he only listen to him, last night?

“I said I’m sorry! Why do you make such a big deal of it!  I can defend myself, and if I’m the leader, it's because Master Splinter trusts my decision.”

Mikey was about to lose it and scream all his frustration, when, Raph made his appearance:

“Fearless, again with your identity crisis? We fucking know that you’re the damn leader. Stop yelling about it every now and then. I would never kiss your ass, anyway even if Master Splinter act as it is made of pure gold. Ask Fanboy. He likes licked it!” Raph said, grabbing the milk carton from Mikey’s hand giving to his youngest brother a wink. 

Mikey felt his feature twisting. Raph was maybe trying to do him a favor and  put in a good word for him , but it was the worst moment ever. Raphael will know soon enough that Leo didn't love Mikey back and he didn’t need pity from the hot head. Mikey was miserable enough like this, thank you very much!

Even Raph, after having drunk from the carton, feel the chilly atmosphere. He lifted an eye ridge, looking at the coldness coming from Mikey and the unease posture of Leo.

He didn't comment right away.

" I think Donnie would sleep in. Science guy must have a rough night, checking non-stop at all the security tech to avoid the lair being flooded. Hey, cook boy, what is on the chief’s menu today for breakfast?"

Raph was rarely so chatty before 7:00 AM, but he looked as if he wanted to warm the atmosphere. But he was a poor attempt. Mikey wasn’t feeling to act normal, and even less being obliging doing breakfast for his sibling when his heart was shattered like this. Leo had a light of hope in his eyes and the youngest suddenly remind that Leo couldn’t cook an egg. The leader was counting on him to full his stomach, having spent so much energy fucking stranger.

Mikey slammed his cereal bowl on the table, to the point to break it.

"Shove your breakfast in your ass! I'm done being the damn cook slave!" he snapped.

He saw, the shock in the two eldest eyes with malicious satisfaction. Compliant Mikey was game over. Don’t-give-a-shit Mikey was all over the place. He wasn’t even happy about his personality change, but he was far too unhappy to act otherwise. 

He wondered if Leo would dare lecture him about his language. Leo couldn’t care about feeling but he can’t stand curse. But it was Donnie who replies, in a sulky tone, as he always had before his coffee.

" Don't do it then, but shut up!" he shrugged, walking a zombie pace toward his brewing coffee machine. " Anyway, the only one would be punished by that, it's Leo. Raph and I could cook as well as you."

Maybe Donnie thought that would make Mikey speak and do otherwise, but the genius was greatly mistaken if he thought so.  Mikey can’t handle a plate to Leo this morning, except maybe to smash it.

"I know that. He could starve. I don't give a shit!" he snarled.

A bomb in the lair would have seized less Donnie and Raph. The two turtles have two different ways to cope with the unexpected. Raphael grew angry:

" You see, Leo? You had passed your shitty mood to the kid!" he growled. 

Donnie became concerned:

"What is all about, Mikey?” the genius asked, not with care. “You may have a temporary grudge against Leo for some reason but, he is still your brother and leader. You couldn't mean what you just said," he stated in the same soft voice he took when Mikey had a concussion.

Leo stayed silent, his features a mask, hiding his feelings as usual. Mikey hated this controlled expression so much. It spoiled Leo’s gorgeous face. Those lips weren’t meant to frown. Leo was so stunning when he was relaxed and happy. It was even more precious because it was so rare to see a smile on the leader's face. It was a shame not to see that gracious smile more. When Leo was laughing, his eyes shined in a way that churned Mikey’s insides.  But why he was thinking about that handsome face? He was mad at the bastard! Why in the hell could he never stay angry?

He kept his mouth shut, eating his cereals, refusing to look up from it. Maybe if he didn’t talk at all, Raphael and Donatello would get annoyed enough to drop it. And he hoped that Leo was clever enough to keep it shut. He didn’t feel for a public breakdown and he was already so close to it. 

"Good morning my son."

The arrival of Master Splinter in the kitchen broke the circle of thought of Mikey. He didn’t greet his father, not trusting his voice not to crack. 

"Leonardo, you don't seem well. I don't understand. The last days must have been beneficial to you. No patrol, less training. But you look pale and exhausted."

There, it was evident: even if Mikey was the one apparently in pain, Leo has the paternal attention on him. Leo, the happy Casanova, didn’t seem well.

Disgusted, Mikey raised up to put his bowl in the sink without a word. He didn’t even want to look at Leo to see if it was true that the leader seemed not fine. 

Raph was about to lose it because he spoke, trying again to be funny, to alleviate the heavy tension that prevailed in the kitchen.

" Master, Mikey is on strike. Donnie will make the breakfast for you."

The genius protested, his mouth full of peanut butter toast.:

"Why me? Why not you? I didn't even breakfast because I'm too busy! You're the one eating all these egg and bacon. Do it!"

Splinter rise his hand to have the silence.

" Leonardo, did you have eaten?" Seeing his son slowly shook his head, the rat decided;

"We'll make breakfast together, then. I would show you how..."

"Again?" Raph asked with disbelief.

"There was a long time since I assisted your brother in the kitchen," Splinter replied, calmly, but Donatello was far from calm:

"You mean since he put the oven on fire and then all the kitchen? Was a sweet memory!" he said with sarcasm.

Mikey, even if he was supposed to be furious at him, can't stand to witness Leo’s deep embarrassment. He could stop all of it, pretend that he had just meant to joke around and make the breakfast. But being pliant didn't work with his brother. Maybe the other way around will be better. He straightened up and chose to leave the kitchen, to not being tempted to be the kind and helpful puppy of his big brother.

Anyway, nobody was concerned about him and will notice that he was crying again in his bedroom.

Mikey dreaded the moment of training, and as if someone somewhere was conspiring to drive him crazy, his father made him spare against Leo. All the stretching before, he had managed to compel his eyes to glance away of the enticing turtle in blue. But now, Mikey can't avoid staring at him, if he doesn't want to be pinned on the mat and looking like a fool. He didn't need to be a loser more than he already seemed to be. Leo now must think that Mikey was pathetic to have a hopeless crush on his big brother. The idea makes him see red. 

At the signal, Mike lunged forward as if wanted to destroy Leonardo. 

He wanted to hit him, to make him taste pain as Mikey felt it. He could tell Leo was surprised by his sudden aggressivity, and the leader had barely the time to dodge Mikey's attack. Leo had a hard time with him for the first time in their life, but Mikey was far too upset to be proud of this achievement.

Then, seeing his brother flinch, after a strike, Mikey threw away his nunchucks. He couldn't hit him! He couldn't! Even if he hated Leonardo so damn much to be so loveable without even trying to be. At least, not for Michelangelo. 

"I'm done!" he yelled, furious.

Master Splinter look at him, incredulous:

" Michelangelo, it's not to you to decide if training his over. It's to Leonardo or me that this decision could come from."

Leo was fucking unknown women, sneaking out the lair, maybe putting all of them in danger doing so, but he was still the favorite. If the leader has caught Raph or himself and reported to their father, Mikey would have been condemned to backflip for life. Scratch that: backflip was when their Sensei was in a forgiving mood. Indeed, maybe he should do that: tell Splinter, the truth about his golden boy. Their Sensei would lock a chastity device on Leonardo right away, and a grounded Leo couldn't anymore have a hot date. But Leo would be mad at him. The leader won't fuck this unknown girl, but Mikey, neither. Okay, he won't report Leo, but still, obeying to this supposed leader, so sneaky, was beyond him. 

"I don't take an order..." he began.

"Michelangelo! I don't know what is all about, but recently I feel as if my more reliable child is Raphael and that is disturbing." The master said, rubbing his forehead in irritation. Raph didn't comment, flashing his teeth, receiving praise rather rarely.

" I think that maybe I'm too old to be your master and perhaps I must be just a paternal figure for you. Anyway, the time at come to put you on trial, Leonardo." the rat master sighted.

"Yes, Master."

" I would stay at Miss O'Neil's place for the next six weeks. You'll be in charge. I already said a word to her about that; I would go tonight. You will accompany me, and when I come back I expect it would be normal again!"

" I hope not to disappoint you, Sensei." Leo declared in his firm leader's voice of his that was thrilling Mikey to no end when his mind was picturing Leo playing power bottom. 

Mikey snorted to himself: how a silly fool he was to entertain still the idea that maybe Leo would be his, someday. Their Master dismissed them, and Mikey go hid his pain in his bedroom. 

 


	5. Don't speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta. This chapter goes with Creep, Chapter 5

After training, Mikey locked himself in his room again, grabbing some Nutella. He ate his Nutella with a spoon, only stopping when nausea took hold of him. Like any teenager, binge eating and listening to music matching his emotional state comforted him. He put "Raph's moody playlist" on his T-Phone, and sighed. He knew that his case wasn't exceptional. A lot of guys has been in love with the wrong person in the past and so, didn't be loved back. In all teen movie, a loser was in love with the cute blonde cheerleader. But it wasn’t supposed to be the same thing. There were only four of their kind. Leo wasn't supposed to look elsewhere than in their little family. Since childhood, he had always known that Leo would be his someday.

With melancholy, he took on his bookshelf one of their two family album, the oldest, including pictures from six to twelve.

It took a while to Master Splinter before he finds a Polaroid camera in the garbage and at first, their father was taking pictures rather rarely, to spare the film. The first photo was Mikey and his brother at their sixth anniversary of mutation. Already at this young age, it was apparent that Leo was his favorite brother. The eldest wiped cream from Mikey's face, in an affectionate gesture and the Mikey on the picture, was looking fondly at him, with a big toothy grin.

Mikey didn't have to look at the others ones with his eldest brother, because he knew that it would wear the same lovestruck smile on each of them. How couldn't he love Leo? His brother was perfect when most of the time, Mikey was only a mess. Even at this age, before that testosterone was messing with Mikey’s head, Leo was loveable. The eldest always had time for his little brother, unlike Raph and Donnie, and was kind and generous. When an enraged dog was erring in the sewers, it was Leo who places himself as a shield in front of his brothers. This day, Mikey vowed to marry him, older. He even draws at this time and hides a picture of what the ceremony could look like, daydreaming about who will wear a dress. He had decided that any of them would and had opted on his drawing for a cape, as Superman. Leo was a superhero, flawless.

At least, it was what he thought when he was a child.

The photos displayed on the second album had a better resolution because Donnie was developing the film himself, now with a great camera. But it wasn't the only difference. In the firsts pages, Mikey had the same fanboy smile. But, around fourteen-years-old, Mikey’s look was different on their photos. There was a very apparent hunger shining through his eyes, while he was pressing himself on the leader, for the picture. He didn't have childish and over the top romantic thought about marriage anymore. They could, if Leo wanted to, but it wasn’t was he craved for. He fancied a naked leader, trembling and moaning in his arm.

He wasn’t a kid anymore. Mikey had watched a LOT of very late movie, of all kind toward his thirteen-years-old. He didn’t know at the time what he was into and so, watched either, hetero, bi and gay porn. He saw an appeal in each of them, but he felt lava in his body the first time that he saw a man penetrated by another. The man seemed to have so much pleasure that Mikey shivered. In a quick thought, his mind juxtaposed Leo’s image at the actor’s. He wanted to make his eldest brother feel that that good. Mikey had pictured for the first time a Leo shaking underneath him, whispering lustful praise and, since had jerked off on this fantasies, despite his shame at the beginning to be maybe disrespectful.

At the same time, a night topside, Mikey had a conversation with Raphael, about the possibility to have someday, a mate.. He hadn’t didn’t dare talk about Leo at this time, not quite sure about his feelings. He knew that he needed someone, but the big incest/gay taboo still stopped him.

Mikey had told him of his worries, and Raph, having lit his cigarettes hidden under a water tower, had listened to him. Pulling the last puff of his smoke, he had stated;

“I can tell you that, unless you kiss a dead or fainted woman or she's too fucked up to care, you have no chance, kid! You will do what Donnie and I do, having hot dates with your hand for the rest of your life.”  
  
Tears of anger and frustration had risen to Mikey’s eyes. He had refused to believe it. He could live to be alone. He could live with a dead-end signal above him.

"And Leo, him? Would you answer that too? "

Raph had made a sarcastic smile;

"Do you think that heroes, the real ones, have a cock? Convince Leo that his dick can serve him in a military operation and he may remember that he has one. "

The turtle with nunchucks had narrowed the eyes of anger; "Do you treat Leo as a sissy? "

Raph had raised his arms in a mocking gesture of submission:

"Far from me to insult your superhero.” he continued, sighing. The subject affected him too: "Leo is ... a spiritual and grave type. It's good. It probably suffers less than us from loneliness."

Raphael's words were intended to comfort him, but Mikey doubted their veracity. Leo was of flesh too. He would face the same issues eventually and if humans mate were forbidden, his brother would looking around him. And maybe Leo’s gorgeous blue eyes would cross his.

At fifteen, he had finally accepted the fact that he was in love with his eldest brother and lusted over him, not giving a damn about human moral code anymore. He knew that he couldn’t be happy without Leo as his mate and so, began a courtship. Subtle at first, he has been about to throw panties to him, last week.

And more than lust had grown in Mikey, more the smile of Leo seemed faked on the picture. How he could not have seen that before, he chastised himself! Maybe if he did, Leo wouldn’t have pushed away from their family, and from Mikey, he reflected, lying on his stomach, tears running down his face. Maybe if he had made a decisive move before, like six months ago, Leo would be lying next to him, watching the photo album with him.

Suddenly, in a crash, the door swung open and startled, Mikey turned his head toward the intruder. Recognizing his eldest brother, who was surprising him crying like a sore baby, Mikey flushed in anger.

"How dare you..." Mikey begins, but Leo shushed him by pulling out harshly the T-POD wire from the speakers.

" How dare you act like an emo thirteen-years-old? What was that fit from this morning?" Leo yelled, shoving Mikey on his bed.

Being squeezed between a bed and Leo, what he has craved for so long, but in this fuck-up and heartbreaking situation drove Mikey mad.

" Don't fucking touch me!" Mikey yelled in turn, struggling against the leader." Go fuck with your new girlfriend or something!" he growled.

In a cold tone, the leader asked;  
"Why are you so mad about this? I mean, about me, going out. I admit. I have someone. But..."

He fell his heart bleeding in his chest. How did Leo dare to chase him down to his fortress of Solitude to ask a stupid question and then, boast that his heart was for someone else? He had been clear the day before: he meddled his love life because Leo was indeed his whished mate. Leo couldn't not fake misunderstanding that? Did he? Did he fake to be stupid on damn purpose?

Mikey pushed him so hard, turning him over, that Leo's voice cuts out, out of surprise. Mikey was pinning him on the mattress, his hands over his head, pressing against him, snarling, unable to hold back his lousy feeling anymore.

"Do you have to rub it in my face?”

Leo’s eyes were wide, and he opened his mouth to probably protest that it wasn't what he does, when Mikey's lips rushed to his in a hot kiss, to shush him. It was so good, so better than he had imagined. That was what he had been aching to do for so damn long. Leo’s lips opened as easily that a flower in a blooming tea and they also have the taste and the warmness of an exotic hot brewage. He didn't expect that Leo was such a great kisser, but he was certainly enjoying it.

Even better, Leo was moaning lowly, and the sound thrilled Mikey to the core. It was entirely the same lovely noise than in his fantasies he pictured Leo could make. But he wasn’t only jerking off now. Leo's scent hit him full face, by powerful waves. His animal part knows it: the turtle underneath him was aroused. It wasn't only the smell. He felt the bulge growing in the eldest plastron and the eagerness in the kiss. Leo wasn't the only mutant turned on. Mikey's cock now was hard and pressing painfully into his shell. He felt the warmth emanating from Leo's body and just wanted to bury and lose himself in it.

At the moment when he told himself that he must use this momentum to make a move and stroke Leo's crotch, to entice the elder to drop down, the leader detached his lips by turning the head suddenly.

Too far clouded by lust, Mikey didn't react rashly right away to the lost of contact.

"Do you understand, now why I'm so upset about it?” he asked, in a husky tone. " Because it was your question, isn't? You spend the morning to give another sense to my words earlier because you couldn't stomach the truth. Yeah, I loved you and wanted you. I gave you daily's hint, for almost two years! But it isn't duties based; you're so oblivious! And then, you look elsewhere to find what was under your nose, since age!"

Now he was almost yelling, trembling from stress, rage, and all the self-restraint from years. Leo's body under him was now hot as a furnace, and the fire in him was too high.

"Mikey..." Leo begins.

Michelangelo's pushed his hips forward, rubbing his lower plastron against Leo's, making him feel his bulge. The leader was hard, and he couldn't deny it. He reacted to Mikey’s sexual advances. Instinct drives him again, and he bit deep in the collarbone flesh.  
Leo couldn’t hold back a submissive whimper, and his gorgeous face showed how he was ecstatic. The blue eyes were hooded and it was the best “do-me already” face he never saw. Leo tasted sweet, and he was so soft and pliant that all Mikey’s left self-restraint was throw out the window.  
Driven by the noise, the view and the scent, Mikey nuzzled in his neck, scratching his teeth on the leader' collarbone.  
"I like the sound you made, and the scent you give off...I wanted to feel you shaking underneath me since forever, bro. Now, it's out in the open. So, what the leader would do? Do you will kiss me again or, leave?" he growled, still his mouth hidden in the hollow of his neck.  
"Please," he thought, “let make that happen! I want this for so long."

“ I can show you a great time and make you feel so good. You know me, I’m passionate about what I love, and I love you,” he whispered, in a last attempt at seduction.

Leo shivered, and Mikey was feeling his heart pounding violently. It wasn’t even sure if his brother had heard him. But then, what he feared so damn much, happened.  
His brother begins to struggle, and he felt like icy water splashing on him. Leo’s body was now burning him like nitroglycerin, and he straightened up, walking toward the door as if it was the last exit before Hell Downtown.

"So, you leave, then," he asked, in a dull voice.

The leader tried to explain  
"Mikey...I can't...I'm with someone else." he stammered, making it even WORSE as if was possible. Did Leo was deaf, stupid or just didn’t give a damn about nothing else than his great self and his secret mistress?

  
Mikey looked down, hiding his tear. His world was crumbling when Leo was concerned only to be faithful to a fucking unknown girl! Did she was able to draw from Leo so much moan? What can she have more than him? Leo was a mutant turtle for fuck sake! How could he fit in a woman body? He never really saw Leo’s cock, because, for them, Leo was far too prudish, but Donnie already told them that even if April were willing, he would never dare hurt her in this way. When Mikey was convinced almost to have neutral feature, he looked up. He won’t show Leo how deep he was hurt. He had played his cards and lost. Leo had been clear: he wasn't interested in loving him back.

" I understand. Don't worry. I keep your secret. You can still join her and fuck her when I am content with my hand."  
.  
Leonardo came close to him, wanting to put his hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Mikey didn’t need Leo's pity to feel even more as trash. And he didn’t need Leo’s hand lingering on him as an additional torture. He broke free:

" Don't dare ever touch me again. I'm your bro, the cook, the jokester and the nunchuks guy, but never...just try to touch me in a kindly way." he spat.


	6. Losing my religion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 of Creep, from Mikey point of view. No beta,

Without a word, Mikey had followed his brothers for patrolling. Sulking in his room won’t change a damn thing. Leo had been crystal clear about his refusal. Fearless was tense; that Raph had joked, but the hot head was right. He could feel it in his guts, always being so aware of his eldest emotional state. He caught one look of Leo in his direction. A saddened one. The leader must feel bad for Mikey, and Mikey hated the pity that Leo must feel toward him.

The leader was now bending over, on the edge of the rooftop, scanning the street for invisible threat. Mikey commanded his eyes to look away to Leo’s enticing tail and perfect ass. It wasn't for him; it would never be. In fact, he tried to act as if the leader wasn't even there. Raphael had teased him several times over his sudden mutism. Sometimes, Mikey wondered if all Raph’s brain was in his muscles. To be unaware of the chilling atmosphere between the leader and him, you must be dumb.

When the Hothead had seen no reaction to all his teasing, he had decided to complain aloud, that their patrol was more like an erratic walk than smashing skull, like he likes to. Indeed, Raph wasn’t exaggerating.  They didn't patrol. They just followed Leo from one rooftop to another, and then, they were watching the leader pacing as a beast in a cage. Leo was up to something, it was obvious, but he didn’t care about this jerk anymore, right?

"Raph, I already told you: I have the prescient that the Foots are up to something. We are looking for them!" Leo explained sharply.

"You're kind of tense, Leo; Your fingers aren't stopped twitching. Your intuition must be very vivid," Donnie said.

"Yes," Leo replied, and Mikey heard the hint of bullshit in these words, but nobody has time to point it out that the Foot make their entry. A big bunch of them, in fact, and aggressive.

The leader jumped in the middle of the Foot and this careless attitude was so not Leo, that Mikey froze. What the fuck? Raph seems to feel a similar though because he shouted:

"What the fuck, Leo? Where is this damn plan of your?! Since when you rush on the enemy like that? I have the copyright for this kind of way."

Leo didn't answer, dodging katanas strike, and rushing on the enemy, and despite his heartache, Mikey’s concern took over. Leo was suddenly so fierce that, one moment, the youngest, in his vivid imagination, feared that the leader was looking for an honorable death, after having broken his youngest brother' heart. 

He didn't have the time to worried that much, enemies were coming to him by waves. He hit all he could reach, and even if he wasn’t even as a violent turtle as Raph, it must admit that it was feeling good to let off some steam. But, when nobody was standing in front of him anymore, he saw Donatello’s concerned stare.

“Leo is gone! He goes after Karai, and he disappeared!”

All Mikey’s bitter feelings were gone in an instant. Karai had danger written all over her. She was their most formidable and unpredictable enemy, apart for the Shredder himself, and she hated Leo with every fiber of her being. The love of his life was maybe in danger, and in a hurry, he went in the direction he saw Leo for the last time.

There were advantages to be in this pseudo mating season. The wind brought him Leo’s sweet scent. He was close, and after a motion to his brothers, he followed the smell, until a dark alley.

They were there, Leo and the Foot’s Princess.  The kunoichi was pressing him against the wall, her blade on the jade colored neck, and Mikey's blood froze in his heart.

The brain didn’t command him to shout, that he had already done it:

“Stay away from him!”

Karai didn’t even turn her head, and even if her move was quick, all of the following seconds was like agonizing long, as a movie on slow motion. She stabbed Leonardo, and the leader fell on his knee with a heartbreaking whimper that sounded like thunder to Mikey's overactive senses. The blood spilled from his wound and it was the only thing which was fast. Red ribbons were running down Leo’s chest, endlessly, and Mikey felt like his stomach had dropped on the floor. He couldn’t move, he couldn't scream. He could only stare and suffer.

Leo has been stabbed and was now hurt severely, and maybe dying.  Before he could react, Donatello was already fussing over the leader, and this sigh awakens his consciousness.

“Come on, Mikey! We will get this bitch’s skinny ass. She would pay for it tenfold.”

Mikey didn’t need to be told, twice. He was already running, thirsty for Karai’s blood, not even waiting for Raph to catch up. He was damn fast, he knew it. Leo had always told him that he was the best runner of them all, and he was the one doing the highest jumps. He could quickly catch Karai and smash her skull on the concrete until the candy pop out. Raph was behind him, but he could not wait. He was so close, he knows it, and despite his lung burning, he kept up running. He was almost there, when Raph’s yell came to his ears, screaming to him the only thing that could make him stop.

"We must go back to the Lair. Leo is badly hurt. He can't walk."

Mikey turned sharply toward Raphael, his big blue eyes so full of anxiety and pain, that Raph land a comforting hand on him.

“ Don won’t allow that Leo die on him. Fearless will be alright, baby bro. And right after, we will make katanas sheath and leather strap with her slut skin.”

A shiver went through Mikey, remembering the blood pouring from Leo and the dread he felt at this moment. Raph was right for one thing. He trusted Donnie. Leonardo will see the sun rising tomorrow. But that bitch won’t. She hurt Leo, his brother, and if the leader could not love him back, it doesn’t matter. She would pay to have hurt him. 

“Go home, Raph. I will be back when it's done or at the sunrise,” he replied fiercely.

 

Mikey came home at the sunrise. He didn’t catch Karai and ashamed; he had no choice that came back, with his hand empty and clean of enemy's blood. His top priority was to ask Donnie about Leo’s state. When he knew that the leader would be fine, he crashed on his bed and cried his soul out a while, until he feels too tired up and numb. But his mind was still too much in turmoil to sleep.

He had almost lost his beloved brother, and Leo would have died, believing that Mikey hated him, after their argument. All of this because of this witch and he had failed to bring her head back, on a plate. What a pitiful lover he was!

Killing her might have impressed Leonardo. The leader wasn't a bloodthirsty bastard, but Karai was his nemesis, and she had fucking stabbed him! If Mikey could have killed her by himself, maybe Leo would have considered him seriously as a mate.

Yes, it was still thinking about this. The fear of having almost witnessed his brother's death had aroused his feelings again, making them even stronger. He still loved Leo, and after having been so scared to have to lose him, he wanted to give him another shot. He had been too negative, abandoning the chase too quickly. That wasn't what he had been taught.

A good ninja was persistent, and to win a battle, you must know your enemy.

He had read this in one of the dull war books of Leonardo when Mikey had been in a phase that he wanted to know more about his crush’s interest. This unknown girl wasn’t maybe the good one for Leo. His eldest brother just didn’t perceive it. Mikey must show him that he would be a much better match for him. But, to do it, he must know more about his rival.

Maybe Leo believed that sex with a female was better and gay love was shameful? Leo was so stuck-up sometimes! Anyway, whatever she could offer to Leo, he could give his brother a hundredfold. To please and keep a Ninja clan leader and future master, as a lover, you must be very special. This girl was new stuff, but she will be bored to death with Leo who could never take her to fancy's restaurant or expensive shopping, and she will choose another more convenient lover, for sure! But he has to know how she had managed to seduce him. Maybe she was a great cook, or was doing fantastic blowjob? He could do better than a human girl! He knew Leo since his birth! He could play Fearless Leader better than a violin. But, he must admit that the sexual part of his brother was unknown. He could guess thing, but maybe he had been wrong, and it was the reason that Leo didn’t react to his teasing. Maybe Leo was bossy in bed as he was a control freak in the life. He must know! He was essential data, as Donatello would say!

How could he convince Leo to talk about his secret tryst?

Then an idea came to him. This Sun Tzu that Leo admired so much didn’t have a saying about “All the art of war is based on deceit?” So, Leo could blame him to do the same thing. After a while, to think about all possibility, he smiled. Leo has fond of naïveté, and by the past, for least essential objectives, he had managed to abuse it. This time won't be different.

He decided to get up. Leo didn’t eat well lately and the leader needed force to recover A good miso soup would please the leader. But, he didn't want to be too easy on Leo. Mikey was more upset than mad, but if he played the “loyal puppy” card again, Leo would never have respect for him.

Making up his lie, at the same time that he was making the soup, he hear curse coming from the lab.

“...Fuck ya, Leo! Fuck yourself up! I don't give a damn anymore!"

Concerned, he rushed toward the lab, wondering what Leo could have said to upset Raph. His hot head brother had been worried sick about the eldest and to yell at him, Leo must have said or done something harsh.

Out of pride, sticking to his plan to not appear to a dumb lovestruck, Mikey made his appearance with a quite good poker face. Raph and Leo weren’t that neutral. The two of them seemed riled up. At least, Leo looked fine.

"What the big deal, this time?" Mikey asked, holding the bowl of soup.

Raph’s face twisted, and he spat:

"This addict want to train because his pride is hurt to see you bulkier than him."

Mikey put the soup down, without a comment. It was indeed true that he was now more muscular and taller than the leader, but he was sure that it had nothing to do with Leo’s urge to train, after being stabbed.

In a false low-voice, Mikey articulated clearly, pointing his head.

"Must be the med kicking in. Don't mind him. I would take the next watch turn. Go eat." he suggested, and Raph didn't wait being told twice. He left, mumbling how Leo was a stubborn asshole, and Mikey was entirely agreed with this statement.

Alone with Leo, Mikey turned the spoon into the soup, wordlessly and looked down, feeling his apprehension grow. If he didn't play the right card, it would end badly.

Then, after a deep breath,  Michelangelo looked up.

"I have searched in your T-phone," he said with the most natural tone he could manage.

He saw the dread invading his brother, and his heart tightened in his chest, imagining the sexy text between his brother and his lover.

"Mikey..."Leo begins cautiously.

"I want to hear it from your month, Leonardo because I can't believe what I saw on your phone," Mikey said in an even tone, trying to control his jealousy and his nervosity."Tell me why you fuck her ...Why you love her" and he shivered. He wasn’t sure now that he wanted to know. But how fight back to win his brother, if he knows nothing about Leo’s stupid crush? Leo was silent, and Mikey was torn between his desire to get information and to not suffer hearing them. Then, Leo spoke.

"You know...it's been a while. I just...you know I always find her beautiful. She is so talented, smart and funny. She is independent and proud. Her eyes are as shining as jewels, and she could have every guy she wants. But she is interested in me! And we have a lot of common interest! Nobody shares my passions except for Master Splinter!"

Leonardo went up in enthusiasm, describing the charms of his beloved, and Mikey feels jealousy flared up. Leo seemed to find her more attractive that he had hoped. He had pictured a boring blond teenager, with the only merit to have a vagina willing to Leo’s cock. Even in his worst nightmare, he could have imagined that the girl shared Leo serious taste, for tea or meditation and that she was “ talented.” Talented in what to begin with? Leo had pretty fuck-up high standard, even to make a damn bed. And it been a while he was crushing on her! It wasn’t a very new fancy. It was bad.

"I have a lot of worries, and I need to know that my girlfriend knows how to defend herself, you have to admit that she is a great opponent and that no woman can handle blades as Karai does." Leo continued,

Mikey’s blood froze in his veins and his breath caught in his throat. He had misheard! It wasn’t possible!

"You mean...You mean it's that Karai that you fuck? The same bitch who had stabbed you last night?" Mikey asked, still in disbelief.

"She stabbed me as a cover! And why do you so surprised! You know it! You saw her text message on my phone!" Leo exclaimed, distressed and at this, Mikey just lose it.

How could Leo be that stupid and reckless? And how Mikey could have been so dumb and blind? But this, this was the end. Not only because Leo was a fucking traitor, but because Michelangelo couldn’t overshadow the kunoichi. Leo had always had a wicked fascination for her. She was deadly, beautiful, skilled, and bewitching for whoever was a fan of dangerous and evil bitches. Everybody else was an average Joe by comparison. That Leo had abandoned his moral code, betraying his clan for her, told all that Mikey needed to know. Leo had tasted the forbidden fruit, and he would keep the craving for it, and then was lost to Michelangelo.   
  
But he was also damn sure that Karai couldn’t be in love with his naive brother. She only wanted to play mindfuck games with him, to taint Leo’s pure soul and body. He had been right about Leo’s secret desire to have a strong sex partner. Mikey couldn't picture Karai as a shy virgin, demurely opening her knees for Leo. It must be the other way around, as he pictured his own sex games with Leo! He knew for a while that Leo must be in the BDSM, but that takes the damn cake! She fucking stabbed him, and he was still all over her, for fuck's sake!

All his world was crumbling. All his beliefs were lies.

Hurt and upset, Mikey burst into a madman laugh:

"I didn't look on your phone. It was just a scheme to make you talk. I can't believe it! What a leader you are! What a traitor! " Mikey was now yelling, absolutely mad or upset. " You should pass in front of a Court-martial for that. I mean...Wow, I wonder what Master Splinter would think now of his five-star student. And Raph and Donnie! They would be pissed off, and it is an understatement! Donnie took hours, fussing over you and your wound. How can you call this a cover? Don told us you almost die of it if he wasn't of him! She manipulated you by the cock! When they would learn that the golden boy, the sensitive son, the perfect brother, the formidable sparring partner, is only a pathetic masochist..." Mikey's voice broke there, as emotions flooded him in a bad way. It was a nightmare. Leo could be that a dumbass traitor!

He saw how Leo was tense, it was indeed true. Leo had been enough insane to fuck with their almost enemy's daughter.  Maybe it was depression, as Donnie had suggested. But he didn’t care the name of Leo's mental illness. He just wanted to slap him, until Leo become sensible again. But then, Leo spoke, his voice as soft and deep as velvet.

“Don’t tell and I would give you what you want,” he said, with an unmistakable hint of lust, that make Mikey shiver and automatically thing in his shell. 

Mikey's sad laugh just died. Did Leo mean what he thinks he means? How in the world his brother succeded to make him horny again after having learned such a scandalous betrayal?

“What I want? What do you mean? Your offer must be huge, bro because this secret is explosive. Let’s call this the Karaigates!” he sneered, not wanting to show his discomfort. 

Leo looked down, flushed a modest virgin, so stirring, not even trying to be sexy, with his gorgeous bedroom eyes.

"You want me underneath you and take me. You told me. I can give you that," Leo whispered. He straightened up a little in his bed, slightly spreading his knees, the inside of his things so alluring and glistening, in the cold light of the lab. Mikey could imagine big arrow painted on them, pointing the way to the ultimate prize and his mouth became dry, staring at Leo’s tail. His brother wagged it, as a bait, and all Mikey's self-restraint goes out the window. He rushed on Leo pressed him back against the cot. Leo had picked the beast, he must deal with it, now

Michelangelo crushed their mouths in a burning kiss. He was kissed him like he was a drowning man and Leo was his lifeline.  He was leaving a trail of hot kisses down Leo’s jawbone, nibbling and lapping at his collarbone, stroking him all over the place he could reach. Leo was willing. Leo consented.

Mikey slid a hand along Leo's thigh, and bite him with force.  Leo struggled to suppress a churr in response, not really succeded, and Mikey had a smirk, hearing this. Karai was a human. She could be a slut; she didn’t know how to please a giant mutant turtle as he could. Leo’s body recognized Mikey as a better natural mate. Leo was mean to be with his species, not the sex buddy of the Foot Princess.

He was still kissing him, unable to stop, his tongue exploring Leo's month, collecting all flavor in it. Leo tasted mint and herb, and it was comforting and sexy at once. He moved his hand to trace the bulging slit in Leo's plastron with his palm and Leo bit back a moan, and as he couldn't hold back, he dropped down in the waiting hand of  Michelangelo. He could now look at Leo’s hard cock, touch it and taste it. Leo's cock was hard, needy and dripping and he could do whatever that please to him with it. Mikey jerked him off, and he watched closely all the emotion which were twisting Leo’s awesome feature. Pleasure make Leo even more beautiful, and he was so far carried away that maybe he told him, despite his still heartache. Mikey was pistoning his fist fast and tight, and all Leo's body quivered, and the youngest could tell that Leo’s climax was close.

The smell giving off by the leader was intoxicating, very sweet and slightly musky. He had never smelled it so strongly before, probably because Leo’s precum was leaking on his hands, but the aroma was even more enticing than usual. Nothing in the world could make him stop his wrist and miss the show. 

But, he could not hold back, either. Leo was eager to mate, shaking like a metronome, and Mikey feels the need to take him aching until his bones.

 He urged Leo's legs apart wider with a sharp thrust of his knee, then angled himself between them. Mikey grabbed one of Leo's thighs and lifted it to his shoulder, his cock brushing against the trembling body below him. Leo let out a whimper, biting his lips, rotating his hips to find more pleasurable friction, calling his brother's name with a wantonness that drove Mikey's testosterone into overdrive, like he needed it.

 Michelangelo pushed his cock up against the ring of muscle, not enough to enter him, just pressing on it. With a strangled cry, Leo came. Mesmerized, Mikey watched the leader’s climax. It was so good and right. The sight, the smell, the sensation... He could feel the heat rising from Leo's offered body. The leader would be tough to breach, Mikey thought, too damn tight. He pushed his cock further, just by an inch, breaching the muscle. Only a little more and Leo would clamp onto his cock, crushing it inside his body, deliciously painful. He would finally have what he had been longing for so damn long. His brother was willing, so close, calling out his name in pleasure like Mikey had fantasized for more than two years straight. Leo had spilled his seed in his own hand, and Mikey was dying to mark him with his own cum. Dying to rip another climax out of him...It would be epic. Mikey could give Leo everything he was looking for. The leader wouldn’t have to sneak out of the lair, and Mikey would never stab him, for sure. All Mikey needed was a chance to show what a great lover and mate he could be. He should take the opportunity! But then, he reflected, if he failed to convince Leo, Mikey would be hurt all over again. Having had a taste of Leo as a lover, and knowing he was offering his genuine moans to that bitch. Because all of this was even more unrealistic than his wet dream. Leo played the whore to be Karai’s sex toy, he realized. All of this was for Karai, so Mikey would keep his secret safe, and the idea was like an icy shower on his raging libido. Karai was using Leo for sure, as Leo was using Mikey.

Mikey straightened himself, tucking his cock into his slit quickly.

"Don't want to be the sloppy second of the bitch of a bitch," he spat. "Never believed you were now so shameful to spread your leg to keep licking her ass. Don't worry; I won't tell your infamous secret! But let me tell you something. She doesn't love you. She uses you. She wants something, and she needs a naive virgin but Fearless knight to do it!  That’s it! She doesn't care about you! And I don't get how you still could think so having 4 inches of steel in your plastron. You don't know what I want, Leo, but if you want a cue: this," he explained showing Leo exposed body still stained with cum." I don't want that. And by the way, I maybe spat in the soup earlier. You wouldn't find out for sure before trying," he taunted, leaving the lab, with a slamming door, in a hurry to hide his tears.

 


	7. Steal my sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No beta. 
> 
> goes with Creep chapter 7

In the last week, Mikey didn't talk to Leo. The first day, he was still too mad and upset for this. Their other brother noticed it and asked him what happened to Mikey to be so unusually gloomy. Mikey didn't answer their question, still overwhelmed by bad feelings.  Indeed, he wasn't the same turtle, anymore. Leo's confession had stolen his sunshine.

Then, the orange-clad turtle felt ashamed to have called the one he had hoped seduce of such dishonorable name, looking at how Leonardo was gloomiest every day passing. Righ, Leo had refused him, first and then, he had acted deviously to keep his secret safe. But, Leo was still his brother, and he should not have talked to him so harshly. Anyway, Mikey never could stay mad, even less to his beloved big brother.

Leonardo was in love, and thus, he had lost his common sense, Mikey could relate to this because the heart of the youngest was still aching for the leader.  Mikey could be mad at himself for feeling such a way toward him; he could not help himself.

Mikey was madly in love, despite knowing it was hopeless, but his craving for Leonardo was, since two days, overwhelming by something stronger: deep worries. 

Leonardo was awfully quiet. Mikey could get that the leader was uneasy toward him since their last encounter, but he was downhearted too with Raph and Donnie. And, Leo didn't eat, and that was concerning.

The first days, Mikey had ignored Leo, and so, his lack of appetite, at least he had tried. Donatello had made him notice about Leo not eating and then, Mikey had believed it was indeed his fault. Leo was unable to cook., and so, can’t eat. So, he had begun preparing meals again for his family, not wanting Leo to starve, even if the leader was in love with someone else.

Mikey's pride was safe. Leo couldn't pretend that it was for him, even if Mikey cooked Leo’s favorites meals.

But Leonardo did the other way around and stopped eating altogether. Mikey grew then anxious. Maybe it was because the leader feared that Mikey had spit in his plate, as the youngest had threatened him. So, he had put all the meal in a wide in the middle of the table.for the brother to serve themselves. The leader would see that Mikey couldn't have put something disgusting in there if he was eating it. But Leo then showed other anxiety signs, avoiding the kitchen, scheming to not be there at mealtime, busy somewhere, or “meditating” in his room, when he was only mopping.

Then, an idea struck Mikey, hard. Leo, ashamed that his little brother knows the truth was trying to starve himself. It is was possible? It could be. The honor was damn important to Leonardo. More than life. But besides, it wasn't the case either, and Mikey made up big drama when a worse was playing. Maybe Leo was sick because Karai had poisoned him. It was obvious. She faked to be seduced to be closer and drug him, killing him slowly, to take down them. She was indeed an evil witch and it was a very likely scenario.

Convinced to have solved the mystery of Leo’s lack of appetite, he runs to Donatello in a blind panic. He couldn't tell for the Foot bitch. It would put the leader in trouble, and he had promised not to tell. Mikey could be mad, and upset; he wasn’t a traitor. So, he explained his first theory to the scientist, with the depression for the alibi and suggested the possibility of an unknown illness too.

The scientist listened to him, thoughtfully.  

“I agree with you, Mikey. Leo isn’t fine. He isolates himself, seems sad, trains too much and eats little. It seems to slide on a self-destructing slope. I have considered giving him some pills for that, that I can try to make or maybe we could steal them, without telling Leo. I want to propose him psychotherapy too. I’m a good listener, but he would argue that I don't have any license and that, anyway, he is fine! Maybe he is not that bad. I think it may be this mating season that makes him depressed. You know ... being alone, but ... "

“Leo is not alone,” Mikey explained. He needed to give more specific information to the genius. Better the understanding of the situation of Donnie was, better was the chance to heal the leader. “He had a sex-partner, so isn't about him being frustrated to jerk-off only” he admitted, in a low voice.

Donnie gave him a sharp look:

“You?”

Mikey shook his head. He could tell Donatello a part of the truth. Anyway, he was feeling as he was choking with this huge secret.

“Nah. If only...I won't lie to you, Donnie. I would like it a lot. I find Leo pretty hot, and besides, you know...I always had a soft spot for him. But, no it’s not me.” he admitted, almost shameful.

Donatello seemed distressed by this, more than surprised by Mikey admitting having the hots for the leader.

“It that Raph?” he asked.

Mikey frowned a moment and then, he gets why. Why didn’t he have seen it sooner? Raph was to Donnie as Leo, for him. He finds it kind of cute, for a moment and then, a selfish though. If Don and Raph were together, maybe Leo would be easier to convince to give it a shot. Leo couldn’t let Michelangelo the only one without a mate.

“No. It's not Raph either. Don’t worry, Dee.”

Donatello flushed.

“I’m not worried. Just curious. I know for a fact that Raph had turned around Leo’s shell, a while ago. I only thought that, if there a logic choice about the identity of Leo’s lover he could be Raph. Or you.”

The lie was obvious on Donnie’s face. The genius didn’t want at all that Raph was Leo’s lover.  And Mikey could relate to this.

“Don’t lie, Donnie. I could tell that you have the hots for Raph and its okay, bro. He isn't into Leo, anymore, he told me, and, I maybe not a genius as you are, but if he encourages me to chase Leonardo, it was because his eyes were on someone else.” he explained with a grin.

Donnie’s olives colored cheek blushed.

“Heu...well.. so, who is Leo’s secret lover?” he stammered, trying to bring the attention far of him.

Mikey darkened, his big smile now upside-down.

“I can’t tell, I promised him to keep his secret. I just can tell you something. She isn’t the good one for Leo. She makes him unhappy. We should explain that to Leo. We must convince him” he insisted.

“She?” Donnie wondered, in eyes wide in surprise.“Is it April?”

Mikey noticed how Donnie was more stunned than jealous. The genius wasn't interested in the human, anymore. Why could Leo not be like him?

“No. Don’t ask me a question. I swear to Leo to not tell. But, she isn’t good. We must convince Leo of it! Did you have noticed how many meals Leo had skipped last week?” Mikey urged.

Donatello put his pen in his mouth, thoughtful.

“Indeed, if Leo had someone, she isn’t good for him. Leo isn’t happy at all. It’s obvious. He never stays away from us that much before. It was quite the other way around. Now, he seems mistrustful and I don’t get why. He appears suffering from sell-loathe at the point that I was afraid of that he hurt himself.” Don confessed. “You do the laundry every week, Mikey. Do you find any blood evidence?”

It was now Mikey who was flushed. He did inspect Leo’s bedsheet very carefully, but not looking for blood. Did Donnie had figured it out and knew about his kink to sniff the leader’s thing?

“No, never.”

“That’s mean nothing. Maybe, he hurt himself, but don't draw blood! This insane training, when he has still injured anyway, it's a kind of torture of the body.Well, I’ll not stay there, trying to guess.” Donatello stated firmly. “ I had been waiting for him open up to me for too long. I won’t keep waiting something serious happen. I’ll talk to him.”

Mikey was now relieved. Donatello was a medic, and very tenacious, and won’t Leo sneaking away of the conversation.

The leader would be more about to confess him something than Mikey. The leader was still avoiding Michelangelo like the plague, probably shameful. When he was in the same room that the eldest, the latter had a scared look, like a hunted wild animal. A look that the Fearless Leader never had in his life and the fact had stirred Michelangelo to the core. Maybe Leo was suffering even more than him.

This uneasiness had touched Mikey who didn't know how to broach the subject with the leader anymore, neither how to act toward him, no wanting to add to his obvious distress.. Leo must know that, despite the harsh words, Mikey still cared deeply for him and was still willing to have him as a mate. Karai was an error, caused by Leonardo's youth and naivety. Mikey had committed many wrongs in his life, and Leo had always forgiven him. He could do the same, Leo’s love worthed it.

“Go ahead, bro. Tell him...that I’m very concerned about him."

Don's eyes lightened like he just resolves an enigma.

“You love him, don’t you? It's not just about scratching an itch. you are serious in this.”

“Isn't important if he didn’t feel the same way, you know. But, now, I mostly want that he feels better. He isn't the Leo that I fall in love with it. When he will be himself again, I would talk to him, about how I feel.”

Mikey didn’t think it was relevant to tell Donnie that Leo already knows and didn’t feel the same way at all. The important matter was to heal Leo and cheer him up, enough that the leader would eat again.

Donnie nodded.

“I will do my best”.

Confident, Mikey watched as the genie walked with a decided step to leave the kitchen. The orange-clad turtle stayed in the kitchen, to avoid that Leo left his room to follow Don in his lab and saw him there, watching and listening.He finished to wash the dishes, to busy his mind and his shaking hands when he heard a yell. It wasn’t Leo who yelled, and it was far more concerning. Don never yelled.

" You're alone all the day, already! What do you want from us? Tell me! We can't stand to see you falling apart like this! Master Splinter went away, hoping you will be more relaxed, but now, you don't restrain yourself for his sake, and you go worst!"

Mikey went to the living room, to heard better.

“I don’t want to watch any movies. Anyway, you all be better without me. Now move, or I would move you!” Leo growled, and Mikey's heart tightened in his chest. That didn't go smoothly at all like he had hoped.

He didn’t hear Donnie’s reply

"Because you, you have moved on? " Leo’s voice snapped.

Again, almost silence and Raph arrived from the garage.

“What it is going on?” he asked, slightly worried. “I hear Donnie from the under of my bike.”

Mikey shushed him.

"You should consider it, Leo. I know that seems weird but...It's your only chance for true happiness." Donnie’ voice pressed. "And you need some joy in your life, now."

They didn't hear Leo’s reply, but the leader had left his room, walking out with fast strides, Leo walked toward the end, not answering to Don asking "late for what?"

Raph for a guy not knowing was going on, acted quickly, may be motivated by Donnie’s upset tone.

The hot head opened his arms, trying to look friendly.

"Where you go at this time alone, Fearless?" he asked. " We were about to watch a horror movie with space zombie! Some weird shit from Mikey. Stay with us."

Mikey stays still and silent. He didn’t want to distress Leo more by his presence.

The leader snapped:

"I don't need watching a horror movie! My whole life is already horrible, and I see a monster each day!"

He saw it: Raph was shocked, and he hears the squeak coming from Donnie,

The leader, begin to run toward the exit.

"Leo" Raph shouted, and the eldest ran faster.

Mikey stopped Raph on his track.

“Comfort Donnie, he needs you. I will deal with Leo. He is mine to care.” and, not waiting for an answer, he ran behind Leo.

 


	8. Loser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go with Creep, chapter 8.

It wasn’t possible.

Mikey had seen all of it from his hiding place in the corner of the dark balcony, but he still couldn’t believe his eyes. How his strong eldest brother could accept being treated that way was beyond him. Of course, Mikey had harbored secret fantasies about using Leo like his personal sex servant, but he would never have acted with such disregard, with slapping, spitting, and such harsh words. He dreamed of wild fucking, and whimpers, and bites. Mikey would have done it out of love, and after their rough mating he would have stroked Leo flesh and covered his love bites with sweet kisses.  
That wasn’t the case for Karai, and Mikey struggled more to stomach Leo’s hard treatment than the leader did himself. After having used him in such a twisted way, she left him there with no care at all.

Mikey clenched his fists and closed his eyes to prevent tears from rage from falling.   
It took all his self-restraint not to smash the window and punch the girl’s smug smile. The only thing preventing him from doing so was the risk of upsetting the leader. Leonardo was far too proud to stand being seen in such a submissive and dishonorable position, especially by his little brother and subordinate.

The sun was rising in the sky; it was almost too late to return home. He had been too busy stalking the eldest with his secret mistress. Mikey must go back before humans could see him, but what about Leo?

He had his answer when the leader followed the kunoichi down the stairs of the apartment instead of walking to the window. Mikey’s heart sank.

Leo was staying there. He wouldn’t be able to get back home before sunset if he didn’t get out now. Perhaps it was on purpose? Leo had chosen Karai over them, over him, over Mikey. Maybe the leader would never come back to the lair. Maybe Leo was abandoning them for good. Maybe it was Mikey’s fault. He had confessed harboring feelings, and the leader had been disgusted by them. Maybe it was because he had called Leo the bitch of a bitch.

Tears were running down his cheeks, Mikey struggled for a moment to make a decision. Should he abandon Leo, leaving him there, alone, with his rival? Should he smash the window and drag Leo away against his will? What if Leo chased him off like a threat? What if Leo asked that bitch for help against his own brother? Mikey couldn’t defeat both of these expert ninjas together, could he?

But what could he do, then?

Mikey had heard that real love was about making the one you love happy, whatever it cost you. Okay, he had heard that in one of the shitty soap-operas that Splinter was engrossed in, but perhaps it was true.

Maybe loving Leo was letting him go.

Crying, Mikey turned his shell and ran to hide his sorrow underground.  
Mikey didn’t go back to the lair. He couldn’t, not without his eldest brother. If he did, the others would ask him questions. Besides getting Leo into big trouble, Mikey didn’t feel like suffering an interrogation.

So, he waited.

He hadn't taken the time to grab his T-Phone before running after Leonardo. He couldn’t text Leo to beg him to come back home. He couldn’t tell his other siblings not to worry about him. Anyway, it would have been a big fat lie. Mikey’s heart ached like it was burning ash to ash. Even over text, he couldn’t fake being fine.

He didn't feel hunger or thirst. Most of the time, he sat on the concrete of the sewer floor, moping and crying. He had one big meltdown in the middle of the day, a fit of anger worse than Raph himself ever had. Howling, Michelangelo had smashed the concrete wall with his fist. The pain that he felt all day in his hand was a good distraction from his heartache.

Mikey wondered what he should do the next night. Now that he knew where Karai lived, he could return there and beg Leo to come home. Fuck this shit about letting the one you love go. Maybe he should ask for help from his other brothers. Anyway, Raph and Don couldn’t be left in the dark about this forever. His mind was turning in circles, not sure about what he could do that would be effective for his goal. He wanted Leo by his side more badly than ever, after witnessing how his elder brother was lost and accepting such humiliation from a sworn enemy. The leader needed loving and care, and would never find it in Karai’s apartment.

Michelangelo had lost track of time. When he raised his head, there was golden light coming from above, and he suddenly judged it must be sunset. He heard footsteps, and all his body froze in expectation.

It was Leo! He was so lost in his thoughts as he walked that he didn’t see Mikey rushing at him. Leo had come home, and Mikey was so relieved, so happy, so excited, that he didn’t think twice before pinning Leo to the wall of the sewers with a burning kiss. He never wanted to feel the anguish of Leo’s departure again. Mikey clasped one of Leo’s hands with his own, while the other one held Leo’s throat so that Leo couldn't turn his lips away and broke their reunion kiss.

The leader's lips tasted so good, sweet as the strawberries he liked that much. Karai hadn’t tainted the flavor at all. There was a hint of salt on it, but maybe Mikey tasted himself after so much crying. Leo held still, and Mikey wondered if he could venture to let one of his hands grasping Leo go, in favor of stroking the body he missed.

Then, his dream popped abruptly.

"Stop, Mikey!"

It was such a bucket of ice water after that blissful moment that Mikey grew angry.  
"Why? You didn't stop her when she whipped and spanked you," he growled. Leo opened his eyes wide. "I saw you, yes, I followed you when you went to that bitch." Mikey snapped. How could Leo ask him to stop, when he accepted anything that SHE gave to him? He drowned the voice him telling him it was because Leo loved her, and not him.   
"Watch your language! " Leo hissed, and that, that took the fucking cake.   
“No, you don’t get to tell me what I should do! She took you away from me and didn't even treat you well!"  
Mikey had put in his reply all the pain he felt in his answer, but that doesn’t seem to reach Leonardo.  
“You can't understand!  
Mikey burst out, laughing without joy:  
" Nah, I get it more than you imagine. You're so easy to read, bro. The leader always in control must have a release and drop his Fearless Leader mask sometimes. You need a master a few nights a week because you're tired of bossing us around and having all the responsibility and worries. I understand that"   
He saw Leo’s stunned look, and Mikey decided it worth another attempt. He had to show off what he had to offer. If Leo was turned on by domination, it wasn't a problem for Michelangelo.  
Mikey whispered seductively."I can be this release for you and be your dom in the bedroom. You don't need her for that. I'm all here. Do you feel me?" Mikey sniffed the offered collarbone, inhaling the sweet and spicy aroma so distinctive of the leader, nipping it and squeezed hard his buttocks, rubbing their plastron together. He was hard, ready to go, but he took the time to explain. Mikey would offer so much better than Karai, and out of love.  
"Because that is what about: this dom/sub must stay foreplay, not a daily thing. " he continued, in a painful voice. "I saw all of it, all night long before waiting for you here. She pushed it very far because for her you worth this kind of abuse and indignity. I won't do that: it's supposed to be only some sexual game, not a damn lifestyle! She didn't give you aftercare because even for her mind game she can't fake that much to care about you!" he yelled, indignant, now, that all the scene played again in his mind.  
Leo shoved Mikey hard, now angered, without the youngest understanding.  
"Shut up, Mikey! You know nothing! You don't know her, and you don't know what real love is! Between her and I, isn't just a silly crush."  
Michelangelo paled and took some step back. So all his love, his care, his forgiveness and attempts to be considerate, were just because of a “silly crush”. For Leo, Mikey was just a commonplace fanboy, having misplaced fantasies on a famous rock star. Mikey then fell from high. To his brother, Mikey wasn't in the game at all. Just an annoying, lazy little brother and a prankster. No word, no gesture had reached the leader at all. But it could even comfort himself with the thought about Leo's being an ice king. He had bent on his knee for HER. Master Splinter told them that a good fighter must accept the defeat at the right moment, to withdraw with all his limb or accepting to die for. Now, he was the time for him to leave the table. Even if he knows it, that doesn't mean he was okay with it.

"Yeah, you must be right. I'm just a silly little brother." he hissed.  
And he turned his back, to walk back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad because I suppose that all of you people are waiting for Trainwreck, part two. By the way, there is now an illustration for the final chapter.  
> I wanted also to thank all people to have nominated me so much of my 2017 stories for the Awards. It's a good achievement for me, who don't even speak English very well.


	9. Bullet with Butterfly Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no beta. Go with Creep, chapter 9

At his first steps in the lair, Raph shoved Mikey on the wall.

“Where the fuck were you?”

Donatello pushed Raph away, his eyes full of questions

“Do you find him? He is coming back?”

Michelangelo opened his mouth and didn’t find any word. Did he find Leo? No. It wasn’t Leo, who walked behind him toward the lair. It wasn’t the noble leader, who had just refused Mikey. It was Karai’s sex puppet.  
They heard steps, and Raph rushed to the entry, already ready to throw a hook.

"Son of a bitch!"Raph screamed at the turtle behind Mikey as Donatello tried to hold him back. Raphael's eyes were full of tears, and Mikey ducked his head to hide his. Indeed, Leo deserved this reception after so long hours of anguish from the hot head.  
Leo rubbed his aching jaw, without protesting while an upset Donatello asked him where he was, expressing him his worries.

"Leo! Where were you? Donnie exclaimed painfully. "We were all worried! "

Leo was looking as he was torn between telling a shitty lie, or an evasive answer, but, suddenly, Master Splinter appeared, a stern expression on his face.

"Indeed, it is a good question. Leonardo where had you been?"

Leonardo stunned stammered about what his father was doing here.

"Your brother Donatello call me because you left, very upset and then, Michelangelo followed you, equally unsettled. You're the leader, my son. You can't let feelings get to you. So tell me: where had you been?"

Mikey's mind was spinning. Of course, Leo can't tell the truth, but which lie could be convincible for Master Splinter? But if his father knows, Leo could not leave anymore. Their Sensei would lock-up him. It would be hellish for Leonardo to lose the thrust of their father, but, then, he will be forced to forget about Karai. Maybe after a while, six or eight months, Leo wouldn’t remember the evil cunt, and next mating season, Leo would be right in his alley.  
Mikey shook his head, angry at himself. He had believed in Santa Claus and fairies, so long, and Raph had so many times made fun of him for his gullible nature, and it was indeed true. He was such a dreamer.  
Leo was replying some bullshit about leaving, and Mikey put his mind in censorship mode. He didn’t want to hear that, neither Leo’s fake reason for doing so. But Splinter’s answer interested him.

"You talk about feeling and hypothesis, but it wasn't my question. You had been all the day somewhere. You can't go on the surface in the daytime without the help of someone. It wasn't Miss O'Neil's because I was there. So, who has helped you, Leonardo? I need to know who thanks for taking care of my eldest son."

Of course, Leo lied:

"I was alone, hidden, to think. I received not help."

The lie was so blatant, and Mikey could have told it was bullshit, even if he would have didn’t know the truth about Leo's going. Anxious, he looked if Master Splinter was buying Leo’s lie. He swallowed heavily. Their Sensei seemed pissed. The Sensei had never stood a lie, even innocent. Mikey had learned it the hard way.

"Follow me in the Dojo. Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, you too."

Mikey's insides churned in a wrong way. His father brings them in the Dojo, each time he wanted to punish them. Most of the time, Raph was the punished one and sometimes, Mikey. But Leo and Donnie were rarely beaten. He didn't even remember the last time that Leo had been punished. But that wasn’t doing this any better.

Splinter, as expected, took the Kendo stick and walked toward the eldest.

"Kneel and told me about with who you were today?"

Leonardo fells on his knee, looking down and Splinter repeated his question, and Leo repeated, in a blank voice:

"I was alone."

The strike came hard, and Mikey flinched, feeling all the pain of the kendo stick, even if he wasn’t the one getting the hit.

"With who?" the rat asked again.

"I was alone," the leader reiterated, with boldness, and Mikey's breath caught in his throat in front of this fearless display.

Splinter struck him again, and Mikey grabbed his own body, feeling as he was about to implode, feeling it to the core.  
Leo seemed not too bothered, and Mikey could hear the squeak and the sniff form his brothers, forced to witness the punishment, like him. He looked at them, hoping that Raph will have the guts to intervene or Donnie a genius idea. But they were only holding the hand, Donnie climbing at Raph, tears on his face.

"Leonardo, you lied to me, and I'm greatly offended. If you continue this dishonorable way, I must push the punishment further."

Mikey’ mind shattered in pure panic’s cell. He knows what that means: Splinter will ask Leo to cut his own finger and then, the leader couldn't control his ninjatos anymore with easiness. It was the boogeyman of their young. Splinter had explained many times that it would be their fate if they don't behave.  
Mikey didn’t even think, and blurted the truth;

"He was with Karai. She coaxed him with false promises, but he won't do it anymore. Please, stop hurting him!"

Master Splinter was bewildered, Mikey could tell, and not in a right way.

"It’s true my son? Were you with the adoptive daughter and first lieutenant of my enemy?" he asked in shock to the eldest, still on his knee.

Leonardo grunted a "traitor” between his teeth, and Mikey's heart broke a little more hearing this. How Leo could call him this when he had done that only to spare him from more shame and suffering.

“How can you call your brother a traitor when you have sleeping with the enemy! Don't answer. You've been foolish to believe love promises from a kunoichi. And you made of all your brothers your accomplice.”

Leonardo looked up and denied fiercely;  
"No, I don't. They knew nothing and have nothing to do with it. They are innocent."

The kendo sticks smacked him harder this time, and Mikey realized that, until then, Master Splinter was holding back.

"You won't talk back to me! How do you explain that your youngest brother knows about it?" Then, he sighed: "Leonardo I must confess that I am shocked that you, my eldest son, my best student, had turned so bad. I must revoke your leader title. You're not worth any more to lead your brother when you can control your carnal appetite.”

Mikey hadn’t expected this. Leo had only made an error of judgment. He was young and romantic. That kind of shit of a good guy having a crush on a bad ass was commonplace. Leo deserved a lecture and to be grounded, until he gets sane, again, but not this degradation. He hoped that his brother would get out of his depressed state, at this, and swear that, from now, he would behave like the great leader he was, and work harder to deserve Splinter’s pride, again. Leo was a fighter, and proud, and so an overachiever. But he feels his psyche crack when Leo yielded.

"I resign," the ex-leader whispered painfully.

This seems to take his Sensei by surprise. Maybe he had believed that Leonardo was more attached to his position that he was, and Mikey feels Don and Raph were that much flabbergasted too.

"So, Raphael will be," the rat declared in a firm voice, maybe trying to make Leonardo react. Of course, Leo won’t want Raph as their leader. He must know very well that Raph was too much a hot head for such an important position. The ex-leader only shrugged, and the lack of reaction take Mikey aback.

"Then, you have to hand over your katanas to your brother."

At that, Leo would react, Mikey guessed. Giving his katanas? They were a part of himself, a limb! Leo can't do that. What would he do? But it was Raphael who refused:

“I don’t want his oversized steak knife.”

  
The firm denial of his brother didn’t surprise Mikey. Raphael, a long time ago, was dying with envy to have the katanas as a weapon, and he threw a fit when Leo had been chosen to have them. But now, Raph had other priority, like the kind genius who was still holding his hand, he noticed, lowering his gaze. Mikey can’t prevent a sting of jealousy. Why his love story with Leo couldn’t be that easy?  
Displeased, their Master turned toward Donatello, but before he spoke, Donnie refused them to:

“I’m too busy to be the leader. There no reason anyway to made change. Leo is only depressed. I can try to help him to overcome this state by therapy or pills.”

Mikey just stared. Do Master Splinter was out of his mind to the point of asking him, now if he wanted to be the leader? He kind of hoped so, only to be allowed to speak and then, explained to him that it was insane. Leo wouldn’t heal with that kind of unfair punishment. If Leo had been in an environment where love and sex were allowed, he would not have looked for it outside of the lair. He knew that Raph and Donnie would be with him if he stands up to Splinter. Then, his brothers would be free to love each other, and maybe Leo would finally get that Mikey was the one for him. Then, Leo firm voice startled him.

“I am going to leave. In one hour, I won’t taint this lair anymore.” Leo declared, after a quick bow, and Mikey feel like his stomach had felt on the Dojo’s floor while Leo rushed out of the Dojo, despite limping.

“Michelangelo, if you brother persists in his madness, you will be the leader.”

Mikey didn’t even bother to answer. Their so-called father has the psychoanalytic skills and the empathy of a stone, and now Donatello was their only hope.

“Don… Do something!” he pleaded. “Leo is furious against me, because I told his secret, and...we argued about that. Go see him, please, and make him understand that he can’t be serious. He could not leave. Not for HER!” he urged, pain filling his voice.

“Yeah,” Raph said, adding his two-cents.” Fearless couldn’t ditch us for this bitch! Tell him that he won't be lonely, that Mikey is there for him as I am, for ya.”

Mikey saw Don gulping. Raph had just revealed in front of their Sensei that he and Donnie were in a relationship, and asked to Don to put it in the open with Leo, too. Perhaps it was for the better.  
Don nodded and turned on his heels to head toward Leo’s bedroom, leaving them dealing with Splinter. But a paternal curse wasn’t Mikey first concern, and he turned sharply to face his father.

“You! How could you do that!” he exclaimed, with anger.”He is your damn favorite! And all his life, he worked so damn hard to make you proud of him. It’s his first fucking mistake! He needs understanding and some loving. No being dismissed as the leader and have his swords seized!”

But despite his anger and his more colorful than usual vocabulary, it seemed to be only an annoying mosquito to Splinter who was only staring at Raphael. Fearlessly, Raph was glaring back, challenge shining in his golden irises.

“What do you mean by you being there for Donatello, and suggesting that Michelangelo could be the same for your eldest brother,” he asked, in a cold tone.

“I mean what it sounds like.” Raph hissed back. “We are living beings. We need love. In all forms.”

Splinter’s breath hitched.

“Sinner! How could you bend to these base urges? I should not expect more from you Raphael. You have never been able to fight against your bestial instinct.”

“Sinner all the fuck you want.” Raph snarled. “ And call me an animal, see if I give a fuck! I give Don what he needs to be happy, and he does the same for me. Why we can’t have happiness? Even little soldiers are allowed to have a lover! And is not about to get laid. He is my chosen mate.”

“I don’t have any more time to discuss with you. Your sins and Donatello’s would be for another day. I must talk to Leonardo. It’s probably your fault if your brother wants to leave. I won’t let Donatello corrupt his mind further.”  
Mikey placed himself across the Dojo’s door.

“You won’t. Donnie is our only hope to make Leo understand and stay.”

Splinter’s eyes shined dangerously.

“As your elder brothers, you want to pursue an incestuous passion and chose Leonardo as the target for your immoral desires. I won’t allow you to taint him anymore. Maybe it’s your attempt against the nature to seduce him that push your brother into our enemy’s arm.”

Mikey narrowed his eyes, taking the accusation as a kick in the guts.

“Fuck you,” he hissed, not believing that he actually find the balls to tell this at their Sensei. “I care about Leo much more that you never did. You act as you love him, but at his first mess-up, you are willing to abandon him! You don't even know him! Beat him and punish him won’t help him and either us. He needs compassion and attention. He needs cuddles and kisses, not to have his damn finger cut” he yelled, suddenly losing it. All his rage that he was trying to contain since forever, suddenly bubbled up at the surface. But there, he heard another yell from Leo’s room

“Mikey had already betrayed me,” Leo yelled, and Michelangelo paled.

“Well, it seems like your brother doesn’t want your cares,” Splinter commented with contempt, and Mikey still stunned by how Leo had sounded mad stay still when Splinter pushed him asides to exit the Dojo.

Raph took Mikey in his arm, whispering comforting words about how Mikey had well spoken, but the youngest felt too dreadful to listen to him. The real important matter was outside the Dojo.

He hears the rat's warning to the eldest:

"If you go through the door, there is no way back, if you join an enemy you become the enemy."

Raph left him to intervene in a more effective way probably, but Leo’s final answer came to his ear, and despite it being soft as a whisper, he feels like it was deafening as a collapsing building. Bullets with butterflies wings.

  
“So, let it be”.


	10. A bittersweet symphony-2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta

Leo was gone, and so all the light in Michelangelo. If people were thinking that Mikey was only smiling and sweets, they were strongly mistaken. Mikey was hiding a dark side at his sun for years, and this grimy part of him had just grown in the last weeks, to the point it was impossible to hide, anymore.

After his eldest brother had passed the door, Mikey had turned his rancor toward their so-called Sensei, after he reproached to the youngest to be the cause of Leonardo’s departure. This accusation, so unfair, bristle him.

“All of this is your handiwork, not mine! You raised Leonardo so high that we couldn’t reach him, and so, he feels lonely!” he spat. “You had put so much pressure on him, always to be your perfect war robot, that's you drive him crazy. He wasn't allowed to feel, to have a personality or a flaw! No wonder he had cracked! And now, he won’t ever come back, even if he comes to his senses, because of your stupid threat. Leo will never be an enemy to me, but you are.” he hissed.

Master Splinter retorqued something, in a venomous tone, but Mikey didn’t get the meaning of the words. It was like all his vision had gone red, and the words were only clashing sound, far away from his mind screaming “Leo is gone. You’ll never see his sparkling eyes when he smiles again.”

“STOP! MIKE! YA GONNA KILL HIM.”

He understood the words but didn’t let the throat of the rat, his hands like squeezing of their own.  

“Stop, or when Fearless returns, he will be mad at ya!”

That statement reached Mikey’s consciousness. It was indeed true. Leo would not forgive him if he killed Splinter. He wondered why Leo respected Splinter that much. Of course, he had taken care of them in their first years, until their first lair was destroyed around their seventh birthday. But, at seven years old, Leo was more significant to them, and Donnie, more useful. The genius had set up the entire new lair, and Leo had been the one taking care of them. The age of seven was also when Splinter had graduated them from simple katas to sparring, finding them a new purpose. Since that day, they had no longer been kids, but soldiers for Splinter’s cause. He wondered if their upbringing had been entirely unbiased.

Like he had been burned, he released his death grip on Master Splinter’s neck. The rat was holding his throat, trying to catch his threat and stammering threats and curses, in a hoarse voice. Then, Mikey saw him as he really was. An abusive coach, who was the cause that Leo had never been able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, and who, less and less seeing them as his sons. He seemed to care about Leonardo as his lieutenant and used the brotherly love and respect that Mikey and his brothers had for the eldest, to being obeyed. But, he rarely had praise for Donnie, despite that, without the genius, all of them would be dead since ages. Even him, Mikey, who was the damn cook slave, never received a kind word. Without them, the rat would die. He was now old, and sick, and weak. Maybe once upon a time, he had been a great guy, but in the last years, he seemed to have lost his damn mind.

Splinter was now for them a dead weight; in fact, he was for years. Probably that without his narrowed mind turning only around bushido, Leo would not being so depressed, and searching a way to escape their home.

If Leo one day would come back, Splinter must be not there, to torment him with his homophobic comments.

“You said earlier that if Leo leaves, I will be the leader. He just left, so I am. My first order is for you to leave. If you refuse, Raph, Donnie and I will convince you physically to doing so. I won’t recommend you to try us. You have a lot of beating to made-up to Raph and I. We had accepted your punishment, out of respect for Leonardo. It was probably why he was so precious to you. He was your shield, against us. But, he is gone…”

Mikey swallowed hard, his eyes misting with tears. The words had seemed to would his throat when he was saying them.

“You will not dare. Without my wisdom and my guidance, you will fail. You are only miserable sinners.”

The curse didn’t impress Michelangelo at all, too caught in his own pain, but he feels Donnie’s anxiety. It has always been that between them. They were one soul, in four bodies. Splinter was the left out, and the one who will fail out of the lair, soulless.

Raphael gave him a shove, hard.

“Ya don’t talk back to Mike. Get the fuck out, before I make ya.”

Splinter looked around him, and Mikey saw the rat's eyes dimming. He must have realized that his so-called wisdom had let him made a fatal mistake. Pushing Leo away, he had dismissed himself.

“I will leave, of my own free will, not wanting to share my home with so disgusting being! And I don’t want to be struck when your punishment for your sins will come. You are incestuous and ungrateful. Don't expect redemption. I curse all of you.”

Raph took a shivering Donnie in his arms.

“Shove yer curse in yer ass. We will be happier without ya.”

Splinter left with a last spiteful look to them, not even bothering to grab his belongings.

“When your brother would come back, he won't forgive any of you.”

Raph continued to try to comfort Donnie, crushed by all the events, and then, it’s hit Mikey to the core.

Don had Raph, and Raph had Donnie. But who the fuck he had, now? He had nobody to care of! He still has his other brothers, but no more special someone who makes all so more beautiful just by entering a room.

They were now three of them, an odd number. It was evident that Don and Raph cared for each other as he cared for Leo. But now, with no more Leo, Mikey was alone, without a soulmate.

Don and Raph shared a look, and Donnie broke free from the hot head’s cuddle, and try to reach him. Mikey felt his chest tightening. Donnie didn’t want to make him jealous or unhappy by displaying his shared love with Raphael. He was generous, but Mikey wasn't selfish enough to prevent his siblings from showing affection in front of him.

“Mikey…” Donatello began in a soft voice.

With a real hiss of pain, the new leader snapped

“Don’t! Splinter is gone so that you can love each other. I won’t be an obstacle. Don’t restrain yourself because Leo ditched me.”

“Mikey...We can go for him, now. When I was with him, I put a tracker on his sheathing. We will find him, and..”

Mikey shook his head.

“No. That will probably not change a damn thing. He is not ready. He must come back, from himself. We can’t drag back his ass here when we just kicked out his Master Splinter! Leo must come to his senses on his own!”

Michelangelo saw Raphael nodding, serious, but Donatello made another attempt:

“But Mikey was about you…”

Mikey made a dismissive gesture.

“I will be just fine!. We can still watch this dummy from afar, now? Because we all know that this bitch will backstab him on the first occasion, right?”

“Yeah” Raph replied, looking at the floor. “Never knew that Fearless could be so naive and, so a jerk.”

“We will watch over Leo,” Donatello answered, hitting Raph with his elbow. “ We still care for him.”

“I’m going to bed,” Mikey muttered, not looking at his brothers. “ I will borrow some sleep medicine in your lab, Don, if you don’t mind.”

With a heavy step, without waiting for a reply, he walked toward the lab, where Donatello was keeping all their med. He knew very well where the sleeping pills were.  Sometimes, with Donnie’s blessing, he had crushed them in Leo’s herbal tea, to help him to sleep. He dismissed the thought. He won’t think about Leo, anymore. It was too much soul-crushing.

In the cabinet, he saw the other pills, that he had already taken, when he was shadowing his brother. Mikey still remembered how he had felt good with those. He swallowed dry two sleeping pills but took the others tablets too. It could be useful, to not sleep to watch over Leonardo or, only to feel as powerful as the time he took it.

He didn’t meet his brothers on the path toward his bedroom, and he locked the door behind him. Mikey sits on his bed and allowed himself to have his meltdown.

After having cried a bit, he slapped himself mentally. He was such a crybaby. No wonder that Leo had preferred Karai over him. He had let his brother leave their house, after having failed to help him. He has waited too much, leaving the crack in Leonardo becoming as wide as a canyon, jerking off on his nice ass, instead of helping him walking through depression.

Leo wasn’t the dumb one. Mikey was.

He didn’t really think about it, and pulled out from his band wrist a blade, that they always wore, in case of an emergency.

Leo had been beaten earlier, and Mikey had cracked, and then, had forced Leo to leave. Mikey was the one deserving a punishment. And the pain was better than feeling so much alone and empty.

It would be the first night of a series where Leo won't sleeps in his bed, because of Mikey’s helpless stupidity. He slid the blade on his forearm, tearing it, looking at the sliced sea-foam flesh, flowed by a splash of blood, and he blinked, to control his tear caused by the sting. Leo had not cried when he had been so much beaten, and Mikey knew that if Splinter had commanded him to cut his damn finger, Leo would not have cried, either.

Leonardo had been a Fearless Leader when Mikey had been too scared to talk about his feeling. No one had never realized that Leo was suffering, even the nunchuker, who was stalking him non-stop.

Mikey felt the blood running down his arm, as a release. It was just a price to pay for his stupidity and blindness, and to have put Leonardo far from them, and then, maybe in danger.

He had told his love too late. He should have just told Leo sooner or shut up for eternity. But Mikey always thinks with his heart, and not his brain as Leo and Don, or his guts, as Raph. He had been too caught in his crush to think clearly.

So, he had missed the train, and make all the situation so much worst.

He knew now what kind of leader he would be.

_Soulless Leader_

  
Mikey was now making is seventy cuts. His forearms were now as a roadmap. A very neat, and organized roadmap, as New York streets were. At first, he had tried to hid them under his wristband. Then, he stopped giving a damn. They were impossible to hide. Leo was missing for too much time, and each day, the hole in him was growing bigger. He felt like he had felt completely in the darkness.

Ten weeks.

Ten weeks of intense training, just alone. He won’t play Sensei when all this training was only an outlet as cutting was.

Ten weeks alone, witnessing Donnie and Raph faking indifference toward each other in front of him, to spare his feelings. To cut them some lose, Mikey was patrolling alone, after swallowing some pill when he was too sleepy. in fact, he wasn't patrolling. He was following _them._ The evil cunt and _Him._

Leo had changed, his stance was now stiff and many time he had wondered if it was because the bitch had hurt him. But he never had been able to look from close at him. His eldest brother was wearing now an armored outfit and a black bandana was tied on his handsome face.

Mikey was drowning any thought about how black suited to the jade carnation of his brother. He cared for Leonardo as his brother, no like before, when he had this childish crush.

It was only for family’s business.

Not because he was still longing for him.

Earlier today, Raph had suggested him, to be with Donnie as himself was. Raphael knew that even if they were careful to not kiss in front of him, Mikey was well aware of their relationship. So, he was there offering him a kind of threesome with his own lover.

“Ya should relax a bit too, Mikey. I don’t mind. Donnie neither. We love ya. I won’t be jealous.” he kept insisting

The old Mikey would have probably laugh and been quite excited, but he knew that Raph’s motive was the pity. Mikey had nothing to share. No lover, even no feelings. Just an exhausted body. And anyway, he knew Raph. Maybe Raph would get off to see his partner with someone else the first times, but it would not take long for him to be pissed off. Mikey could relate. If Leo was his mate,  he won’t have enjoyed to share him, either, on a regular basis. Raph and Don’s offer was generous, but he just can’t. Maybe Leo was fucking the Foot Princess every night, but it doesn't change a thing. He can’t.

“Thanks, bro, but I’m fine,” he had said, in a firm voice.

But the fact was that he wasn’t fine. All his scars on his arm were a proof of it.

It was late, and Leo was waiting for the bitch for a while. To what there were up to? Mikey wondered from his watch spot on the roof.

He had seen how Karai had tried to turn his brother into a criminal. But the fact was that Leo was always behind, just covering for the kunoichi, but this night, it was different. Mikey was able to feel it in his guts. She arrived, and Mikey’s stomach made a back split. He hated this woman so damn much. How could Leo not see how much an awful bitch she was?

 They took the direction toward the TCRI, and Mikey pulled out his T-phone.

Don and Raph knew that he was outdoor watching their eldest brother, thanks to Donnie’s tracker, so when Mikey called them, they weren't surprised.

 Mikey followed Karai and Leo, and, as he had suspected, he watched them sneaking through the roof in the TCRI building. It was fishy, and the uneasiness in Mikey grew. He felt to the core, and a thrill run through his body.

Tonight, he will bring Leo home, at any cost. He was done watching him from the shadows. He had stayed all his life, on the bench, gazing at him without having the ball to do something about it.

 It will end tonight. Mikey would drag Leo home, and show him that now his silliness was over and that he could be a real leader as Leonardo has been.

 Raph and Donnie arrived soon, and Mikey motioned them to join him, and they entered.

 Leonardo had made them a clear path, and following the Alien’s remains, they arrived at the door of what they know was the main room.

 “What the fuck is…” Raph began in a low voice, but Mikey shushed him. They heard Karai’s voice from the door.

  _"I don't understand this alien language!”_

 Suddenly, the deep voice of Leo rose, giving a shiver to the new leader, who tried his best to hide it.

 " _My brother Donatello is a genius, I bet that, even not there, he can insert a virus into this computer and destroy those plans! He was maybe the sorriest of my departure; he would maybe give us help"_

Mikey bit his lips. Are Leo was that dumb? Donnie, the sorriest of Leo’s leaving? What about him? He lowered his gaze, looking at his scars. He had tried to cope with self-harming, excess of training, binge eating junk-food, and stealing Don’s feelgood med. Don had been sad, quiet, but nothing more. How could Leo be still so blind? Probably that he was because the ex-leader refused to see.

 Karai seemed pissed off by Leo’s reply.

_"Stop talking to me about your brothers! I can put a virus on my own, but that's not the plan! Shredder wants his plans for his own use!"_

_"I can’t help you then, I refuse to collaborate with a criminal,"_ Leo said, in such his leader’s tone, that Mikey swallowed down a sob. The voice was bringing to the surface so sweet memories, that he had tried so unsuccessfully to bury.

_"How dare you? I've given everything for you! Sex, despite my disgust for you, so that you're a less miserable life than your brothers because I found you promising! I need this promotion, and if you love me, you will do it. "_

Mikey growled, and he felt Raph tensing too. How did she dare to talk to their eldest brother that way? Hopefully, Leo didn't seem willing to be still her puppet.

 _"Love has nothing to do with blackmail, and anyway, I don't love you anymore, admitting that one day I was really in love. I will say that I was only  briefly fascinated."_ Leonardo replied coldly.

Mikey couldn’t help himself. A grin creeps across his face hearing this. Leo wasn’t in love with Karai, anymore. In fact, he never had.

 He heard a clash of steel, but he got out of his blissful state when an alarm rang and Raph urged:

 “Mikey, I think it’s our cue.”

 A flow of Kraang soldiers appeared, with the laser guns, and Mikey shouted:

 “Don’t let them get Leo!”

 Mikey won’t lose again his brother when this one had just realized that Karai wasn’t the one for him.

 They were too many of them, and Mikey saw a few able to breach their defensive line to get in the room where Leo and the bitch were.

 He rushed inside, followed by his brothers, and go straight to Leo, surrounded by Kraags soldiers.

 He pulled out from his back Leo’s katana. Since the leader’s departure, he had kept them strapped to his back. It wasn’t because he was the leader. Leo’s katana was like a limb of the ex-leader, and Mikey felt less alone with them. He always knew that the day Leo would come back, he would hand them back to Leonardo.

 Mikey sliced the head of the more threatening Kraang. He had a good look on Leonardo, now. Blood poured from his muscular thigh, and his blue eyes were staring at him in shock through the black bandana.

 So beautiful….

Mikey dismissed the thought, angered with himself. It wasn’t the time for daydreaming.

"Take your damn sword, bro, they are too heavy. Go to D, you're injured," Mikey shouted to him, and without risking a real glance to the black-banded turtle, switched to his nunchuck.

Leo took a grip on himself and accepted the sword. He was slicing with easiness around him as he wasn’t badly injured. He wasn’t the only one worried.

"Go away, Fearless, you lose a damn gallon per minute," Raph grunted, and Mikey shoved Leo toward Donnie, who was fighting with Karai. Leo so close was too distracting.

Mikey compelled his eyes to not look to Leonardo anymore, where there were still enemies to fight. He heard Leo negotiating, Karai talking back, but he didn’t look. Raph and he must get rid of the alien threat before.

When they sliced in half the last one, he turned toward his brothers, and then, had a shock. How Leo had managed to have Karai tanto on his throat, he had no idea, but the sigh gave him goosebumps.  "Give me these plans or I cut off your brother's head. Believe me, I'll do it. " she hissed to Donatello.

This bitch was a crazy one, and she was very close to end Leonardo life. Rushing to her will only make her slicing Leo’s neck. Realization crushed him. He wasn’t a leader. He was now petrified, not having a clue to what he should do, without having Leo killed. Helpless, he looked in desperation to the genius.

"Don't do it, Don. She only pretends and anyway, I don't care, if she is not." Leo said, in such an even voice that Mikey shivered, stunned. Leo was willing to die, rather than endangered citizen life, and even if it was brave, and that this hero self-sacrifice was a part of Leo’s routine, rage flooded the new leader mine. Leo wasn’t in love with Karai, anymore, and it was like all wills for Leonardo to live was gone with this dead passion.  Leo wasn’t willing to live to be cherished by someone. Now that Leo’s only love option was out, Leo preferred death to come back with them.

"I can't do that, Leo," Donnie repeated, eyes wide, seeing the blood running down Leo's neck, Karai squeezing the blade harder, and Mikey’s knee buckle.

"I'm the leader, Donnie; it's an order, destroy those plans!" Leonardo snapped, and it was like a second icy-water splash to Mikey's face. What a cocky son of a bitch, he thought, his face grimacing. He had ditched them, and now was still playing the leader’s card.

Donnie didn't have time to answer as the lights turned red and sirens sounded. "Self-destruction in 5 minutes" a voice announced and Leo yelled, "Go away!" to Donatello who was maybe even more in shock that Mikey himself. The orange-banded turtle turned to Raph, and his practical sense, but except for a long muttered string of curse, Raph was as helpless than them.

"The plans," Karai asked again, in a hurry.

"The computer is locked, I don't have enough of five minutes to go there!" Donnie protested, and Mikey’s insides churned.

The kunoichi hissed in frustration and with a quick gesture, sliced the jade colored throat, and Leo fell to the ground, choking in his own blood.

Karai disappeared after having spat some hateful words, but Mikey didn’t hear them, too shocked to move. Donnie, as the medic, was the first to move. Blood wasn’t as disturbing to the scientist than for him.  

Donatello was lingering on Leo, with a deep concern on his face, checking his vitals, and making a tourniquet with his purple bandana. Without a word, he motioned toward Raph to scoop Leonardo in his arm, but Mikey’s felt an adrenaline shot, and pick up the wounded turtle. Leo was his duty, not Raph’s. He heard his eldest brother protesting, muttering some nonsense about not wanting to slow them down.

"Shut up dummy. Don't tell us bullshit about leader prerogative to chose to die on us. You're not the leader anymore. I am, and I say we don't leave you there. Just faint already!" Mikey harshly replied, his nerves having the better of him. Leo was bleeding so much, covering Mikey in gore and he was the one about to faint.

Leonardo would be the end of him.

He looked down, and saw his brother motionless in his arms, and ran faster.

They succeeded to come out before an explosion, and Donatello explained still running that it was maybe only to scare off intruders, without any real explosive device. But they were not running away from the TCRI, they were running to stop Leo’s hemorrhage, and Mikey knew it. His brother was heavy in his arm, but he could not afford to stop, or even slowing down.

Mikey was so on an adrenalin rush that he arrived in the lab before Donatello himself, laying Leo on the cot, and then turning around in panic. He was maybe yelling. He wasn't sure

Donatello shoved him away.

“Let's me room to work.”

The new leader was about to retort when Raph's heavy hand land on his shoulder.

“Mike, useless to fuss over Fearless. Don would do his magic better if we are not there. Anyway, I wanna talk to ya.”

Resistance was futile and Mikey let himself drag away from the lab. He knew what Raph would say to him. That he was a shitty leader, and then, that now that Leo was back, he would be the leader again. Mikey didn’t really care about the leader position, but he could help but think that Leo deserved a while on the bench. It was the occasion to show off that he was a grown mutant, able to lead, to his eldest brother.

Raph crashed in the coach, struggling a moment of what he could possibly do. He decided to light a cigarette. Without Leo and Splinter, he could now smoke and drink without hiding himself. Don was lecturing sometimes, but he wasn't as scary as Leo could be in anger.

“Wanna some booze to relax? It's has been a damn hard evening.”

Mikey nodded. He wasn't that much into alcohol as Raph was, but today was an exception. He had just said his eldest brother almost being killed. He had good reason to be upset.

“Beer will do it or ya need something a little bit stronger?”, Raph asked, showing up the hidden whiskey bottle, and two glasses. Don was really spoiling Raph too much with this kind of mini-fridge under the coach.

“Yeah, thank you,” Mikey said, accepting the whiskey glass, where Raph and put some ice cubes. He took a sip, grimacing. It was awful, but still better than still picturing Leo choking on his own blood. Mikey took a second one.

Raph dragged a puff, and go straight forward.

“Now that Leo is home, what ya will do?”

Mikey retorqued quickly; in a hurry to close any topic to close of Leo.

“Leo isn’t in a state to lead nobody. He is injured, and probably still mess-up in his mind. He needs a rest, and…”

“I wasn’t talking about this crap leader thing. What I mean it was about Splinter disappearance? We should find an explanation.  And what about ya?”

Mikey dismissed the second question, giving his full attention to the first.

“I never think really about that,” he confessed honestly. “Because to me, his departure wasn’t important. But, I guess for Leo it would be. So, maybe we can tell him that...he is dead.” he shrugged, finishing his glass in a swing, leaving Raph pouring him some whiskey again

Raph considered Mikey’s answer one moment, taking a sip in his own glass.

“I guess so…” he replied, slowly.”But what about ya?” he asked, again.

“What you mean by _“what about me”_ Mikey answered, keeping his feature neutral. He had kind of hoped that Raph would have dropped it, but he should have known better.  He looked down at his glass like he was mesmerized by the golden liquid in it.

“Don’t play that with me, doofus. I mean what about ya and Leo. Do ya still have feelings for him?” the hothead wanted to know, asking the worst question ever possible at the moment.

“ No.” Mikey blurted.” He had been too much a jerk with me, and besides, it was only a silly crush. Now, it’s over. He is just a brother to me.”

The hothead stayed silent a full minute, and Mikey felt uncomfortable under the amber gaze. Raph wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, but he wasn’t that easy to fool.

“Yeah…” he replied, doubt creeping into his voice.“Anyway, Fearless need time to recover. We should not too much bother him with his mistake. You know what kind of guilt trip he can have.”

“But…” the new leader attempted to say.

“He is still my bro, and I love him, and he still has my trust. He took Donnie’s side, and tried to protect him against this witch,” Raph explained.”But, we need time, too. I mean, he had fucked-up big time, and, ya know, the return of the prodigal son…” Raph trailed, waiting for an interruption from Michelangelo, who stayed silent, staring into space.

After having waited for a reaction and having received any, Raph crushed his cigarette, sighting. “I can be a selfish bastard but I don’t wanna he mess-up the things between me and Donnie. I mean, if he disapproves...Donnie won’t let me touch him again. He respects this damn Fearless too much. And, I admit that I would be bothered myself by it...I mean, Splinter’s curse was meaning shit for me...but not Leo’s. Don’t tell him that I said that,” he concluded, embarrassed, scratching the back of his head.

Mikey nodded, absentmindedly. Raph and Donnie’s romance was far away in the back of his mind. He poured himself a third glass, not quite sure of what happened to the whiskey in it. He didn’t remember having drunk it. The ice cubes didn’t have melt since his first sip.

“I mean...if Leo and ya are alone, then, maybe he…”

Mikey didn’t want to heart the second half of this sentence. He didn’t want to picture in his mind Leo and him, living under the same roof, as brothers, when Don and Raph will be lovers. He knew that it wasn’t what Raph meant. Raphael was suggesting that Mikey could give the ex-leader a shot, that he can fuck in peace with the genius, but it won’t gonna happen.

He won’t try it again with Leo. He had been turned down more time that he had fingers, and he didn't need another time. He had been hurt already too much by all these refusals. He couldn’t forgive Leo. He wouldn’t. For once, he would stay mad and rancorous. Leo could have it so easy when he has crushed Mikey’s soul has he didn’t matter to him.

Raph’s dubious expression wasn’t helping to stay calm, and Mikey snapped, smashing down his glass.

“I’m the leader, now. And I don't give a damn about what both rock your boat. Leo had no word anymore in this house. If I said I’m fine with you and Donnie, he had no choice but to accept this.”

Raph frowned.

“No word? I mean, it’s a little bit harsh…”

“No, is not!” Mikey, insisted, now incensed.“He ditched us! He betrayed us to get off with this bitch of Karai! We accepted him out of pity, so now, he follows my lead, or he can go fuck himself”

Raph stood up, his blood flaring up, too.

“Da fuck with this power trip, Mike? It’s not ya. Maybe ya should get laid to help with that sour mood of yers” he sneered.

Mikey paled and Raph seeing that he hit a nerve, apologized.

“I’m sorry, Mikey. It had been a stressful evening. I will go check on Fearless. Donnie may need help.”

“No. I will. Not because I care for him, because it's my leader duty.” Mikey stated, in his most cold voice, walking in nervous strides toward his bedroom, instead of the lab. “Don’t worry, Don would join you in your bedroom soon. I will watch over Leonardo.”

Mikey needed his pills. He was keeping it for great occasions. There were only thirty of them when he had stolen it the first time. But then, he had sneaked into the lab again, finding a second one, and then, a third. And, now it remained only twenty-four of them in the fourth one. He was still ignoring what they were made of, only that it was effective to make him a good cold-hearted leader. What he needed to be, at the moment. But he needed to stop soon, before Donatello noticed his supplies lowering. Hopefully, his genius brother was too busy with his romance with Raph.

He popped one into his mouth, and took some water from a bottle on his bedside table. He waited ten minutes, laying on his bed, eyes closed, trying to summon the courage to face his past crush. Because it was what Leo was for him: a brother and a past crush, he repeated himself as a mantra.

After fifteen minutes, feeling better, he raised up to join Donatello in the infirmary, glad to not met Raph on his path.

 In the lab, Donnie had just finished patching Leo’s wound.

 “Hey, Mikey.” he granted the leader with a weak smile. “I was about to come looking for you. I think that Leo would be fine.”

 Donnie seemed to wait for an explosion of relief from him, but now Mikey was feeling as cold and hard than ice cubes in a whiskey glass.

 “Well, I suppose it's a great news,” he replied, with indifference. “You can join Raph, now. I think he could use some loving.”

 The genius frowned,

 “What about Leonardo? He needs to be watched.”

 “I will do it,” Mikey said. “I don’t feel as sleeping.”

 Donatello seemed to muse on his answer and then, grinned.

 “Of course, I leave you alone,” he yielded, and then, Mikey understood what was making Don that happy. Donnie was believing that he wanted to be alone with Leo to confess his undying love. Maybe Donatello wasn't that a genius after all, because it wasn’t the case.

 He didn't argue back, and let Don join his lover. His eyes lingered on the ex-leader’s form. Donnie had managed to undress him, to work better on his wounds. Mikey studied all the new scars covering his brother in silence. Their separation had marked badly both of them.

 Then he saws Leo stirring on the cot as if knew he was so carefully watched, and the gorgeous eyes that haunted his dream were looking fondly at him.

 “Mikey..” Leo whispered in an unknown voice, deeper, and even more stirring than before, moving a trembling hand toward Mikey. Damn it. How he managed to be to the death’s door and be still so irresistible? No, he won’t be coaxed by a fragile Leo.

 Mikey pulled away coldly. "I'm going to tell Donnie you're awake."  
  
"No, stay awhile, I'd like to talk to you," Leo squealed.

 "Well, I don't want to! Let it be clear. We saved you because you're our brother, despite being an asshole. Donnie was dying of worry. That's it. It wasn't because I give a damn about you."  
  
Leo looked down, desolate. Then concern appeared on his face and  Mikey followed his gaze. Leo was looking at his scar, and he hid his arm.

 "Don't ask, just a calendar."  
  
"Mikey, please, I need to tell you how I have thought about you  ..." Leo began, his voice as sweet as maple syrup.

 The new leader didn’t want to find in it any appealing and pulled up all the wall he can.

 "No matter what you say, Leo, I don't want to hear it. Each of his scars is a day you were missing. They will stay on my skin, eternal marks, in case I can forget how a bastard you could turn to be. " he spat.  
  
Leo closed his eyes briefly, to prevent tears:" So, it's too late for you and me ... " he whispered softly, and Mikey was about to lose it already. Sober, he would have probably had kissed Leo already.  
  
But he would show Leo that he wasn’t so weak and easy to fool, as before.

Mikey walked away, as hard it was. "You have many opportunities to choose me. I don't want to be a consolation prize. My silly crush on you is dead, as Master Splinter," he added, to being over with this, and removing all romance in Leo’s mind.  
  
Leonardo paled "Master Splinter is..."  
  
"Yes. He couldn't stand having lost his favorite, you know.  He died the next day you left. You blew away all the lair, Leo. It's kind of commonplace: You bet on the black, playing roulette and you lost the draw!" he said pointing of the black bandana. "Now, it's penance time for you.  I don't love you anymore," he said darkly, using the same words that Leo told Karai before. He needed to hurt him, as he had been hurt. Mikey wasn’t a spiteful being, but he felt like it was his only exit.

 He left Leo alone, not trusting himself if he looked back to the wounded and desolate turtle.

Raph had said he must get laid, and it was perhaps a good idea. Raph didn’t have suggested him a threesome? Leo would learn how it’s hurt to be alone when love was everywhere else.

 He came to join his other brothers in Raph’s bedroom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here the end of the second part, Creep from Mikey's point of view. The third part would be what happens next from Leo's and Mikey's point of view.


End file.
